Disclaimer: this blog post may be a stream of consciousness… be aware, tangents may ensue.

SCENE: Right now, it’s 68 degrees, there’s a slight breeze, I’m sitting out on my patio, writing, I have a Magic Hat Circus Boy in hand [in a Christopher Newport University alumni coozie], my dog is sleeping at my feet, and I’m listening to a mix tape I found that I had made in the summer of 1993. Yes, an actual cassette tape with songs recorded from the radio. [WPGC 95.5 and 93.9 WKYS, FTW!]

Thumbs up for painted Elvi

I worked for 14 hours straight today, yet I’m totally relaxed. This is the first time this has happened in easily, uhh, a while. For those of you that know me, those of you that don’t, and those of you who just read this blog, you may or may not know that a lot has changed in the past year. A lot. Some good, some bad, some happy, some sad, but needless to say, I’m a stronger person now than I was 365 days ago.

And the truth is, I’ve been incredibly stressed lately. Like, I honestly think the last time I felt this much stress for this amount of time, was my senior year of college when I was going through all that stuff. (Not going to rehash it all… I’ll simply link to the blog post where I discuss it.) Loss of sleep, migraines, back pain, the works – I’m going through it all right now. I’m not complaining by any means – life is a “rollercoaster” (or some shitty cliche like that) – and good and bad happens. It’s how you deal and how you handle it that matters.

So, to not digress any further than I already have, and in this solitary moment of relaxation I seem to have found, I wanted to “Yes, And!” the awesome day I’ve had and list the things that for realsies make me swoon (i.e. things I lurve):

• Spending time with my family
• A Diet Coke from the soda fountain
• Crushed ice
• Chipotle burritos
• Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds LIVE recordings
• Writing
• A really good laugh
• Romantic comedies
• LOST
• 24
• A really good heart-to-heart with someone
• The way my dog licks my face in the morning to wake me up (even though her breath STINKS)
• Even though I hate running, the way I feel after a long run
• Naps
• Walking on the beach holding my flip flops in my left hand
• Comedy bits
• New York City
• Getting flowers when I least expect it
• Spending time with my best friends in the whole wide world and giggling for hours
• The feeling I get when I’ve just played in an amazing improv set (it’s like no other feeling in the world)
• Sleeping with my window open and waking up a little bit cold so I have to put another blanket on
• Watching old home videos or looking at old pictures
• Googling my mom and reading old pieces of her writing or news articles about her and remembering her for just 5 minutes
• Telling “you had to be there” stories
• Holding an impromptu dance party… anywhere
• Taking a longer than necessary shower
• Using a brand new toothbrush or brand new tube of toothpaste
• The way a brand new magazine/book smells
• Karaoke
• Sitting outside at night and staring up at the moon
• Pool parties!
• Being Frattastic… super frattastic
• Football season (even though the Browns always suck)
• First dates
• First kisses
• Making new friends or rekindling an old friendship
• Teaching myself something new
• Trying something I’ve always been terrified of
• Hearing the words “You’re beautiful”
• Vacations
• BLASTING my music in the car and not caring that the other cars are staring at me
• Cracking myself up over dumb jokes
• Talking to my sister, Bridgid, who is quite possibly the strongest person I know – I don’t know what I would do without her
• Laughing with my dad and calling him just because I need to talk to my daddy
• Never being too old to call your dad, daddy
• Never being too old to laugh at a good fart joke
• Never being too old to swing on a swing set
• Getting awesome and being myself no matter what

I’m sure there are more. But I’ll stop there.

I want to know, what makes YOU swoon? By the way, have I told you today that YOU, are awesome? Because you are.

Word.

Spring is finally here. I am in an awesome mood. I ran a total of 11.5 miles in the past 3 days. I had Chipotle for dinner. Hallelujah.

Meanwhile, Genevieve Wellington Mathers wasn’t feeling well today, so her “little sister” Leetha Wellington Mathers decided to take her place for an episode of Spam Story Hour.

I lurve comedy bits and I do what I want.

Werd.

I get a lot of really weird spam emails and spam comments. Some of them advertise the usual “enhancement” drugs, but others try to pretend like they are an actual piece of correspondence – yet, they fail to make any sense at all… or just sound ridiculous.

So, thus, SPAM STORY HOUR with Genevieve Wellington Mathers was born. Still some kinks to work out, but I enjoy my own comedy bits.

PS: Do you ever get those spam comments and/or emails that try to sound like actual comments or emails? Got any good ones? Send them to me! I’ll read them like a love letter for you.

Meanwhile, enjoy the first episode.

Word.

Yes, it’s 2:30 in the morning and I’m still awake. I took a nap today for the first time in easily six months – and now I’m paying for it because I am WIDE awake. This afternoon I was leaving one job and heading to another and realized that if I didn’t take a nap, I would probably pass out en route.

If it’s 2:30AM and I’m still awake, I do a couple of things:

1. Watch SNL digital shorts
2. Watch old TED talks
3. Clean

I am doing the 2nd of the three. And although I have seen this particular TED talk a gazillion times, I learn to appreciate it more each time I rewatch it.

I love J.J Abrams for two reasons:

1. He gave me the show LOST
2. He’s brilliant

AND this particular quote from his talk is my biggest takeaway:

“No community is best served when only the elite have control.”

I think it’s such a simple yet profound statement, thought, idea. There’s all this talk of “community” going on – whether it be in technology, improv, the town you live in, your country, whatever. Yet, do all of us actively participate in our own communities? Whatever community that may be. Are you an active or passive member of your community(ies)? Do you complain when things don’t go your way or do you work to change them?

People are put in charge for a reason, yes. But for the most part, they are put in charge by the people who, well, put them there – i.e. the members of the community they serve. (Does that even make sense? It makes sense to me, but it is now 2:40AM, so it could be Esperanto for all I know).

There’s nothing that irks me more than people who sit back, are so cavalier and laissez faire about everything, and then when things aren’t exactly the way they want them to be, all they do is whine. You don’t like your situation? You don’t like things the way they are going? Change it. Work harder. Engage with passion in your own life.

QUESTION(S): Thoughts? What does Abrams’ statement say to you? What does it make you think of? I want to know.

By the way, I’m hungry.

Word.

Things you, as my reader, know: I’m a comedian, a lover of Mexican food, Diet Coke, and of all things positive.

What you may not know, is that I am also an extremely big political dork. I love politics. In a previous life (not too long ago), I worked for former Virginia Governor Timothy Kaine. But, as much as I LOVE politics and healthy debate, when it comes to the social media world, I try my best to keep my opinions to myself. It’s not that I’m afraid of speaking my mind; it’s that I don’t want my opinions or beliefs to overshadow the other awesome things about me. Right?

But, because this is an issue I am extremely passionate about, I feel it necessary to share my feelings.

BACKSTORY (I spent my undergraduate years at Christopher Newport University (CNU) in Newport News, Virginia).

Silent But Equal Protest - February 2007 at CNU

In the fall of 2003, I ran for Freshman class president at CNU. Then I ran for student government senator. I didn’t know many people on campus, but I knew I wanted to get involved and make a difference. A big issue we dealt with that year was the topic of adding the phrase “sexual orientation” to the university’s non-discrimination policy. A non-discrimination policy is the formal, legal policy that any business, employer, organization, company, university, etc. has that says that the organization will not discriminate in employment, hiring, firing, acceptance, admission, etc. based upon sex, race, religion, veteran status, marital status, disability, and sometimes gender identity or sexual orientation.

Being a rather conservative campus, this idea of adding two words to a policy was extremely controversial. The final decision HAD to come from the university’s Board of Visitors, a body of people appointed by the governor. Well, in the spring of 2004 the proposal was tabled. Over the next three years the student government association (SGA) tried to get the proposal back on the table with no luck.

In the spring of 2006, I ran for student body president and I won. When I took office, I made it a promise to myself and to the students that this policy would NOT go unchanged under my watch. I didn’t care what I had to do, but the fact that there were some of my peers, students, faculty, and staff being discriminated against because of how they identified themselves or whom they chose to love was unacceptable.

I knew I was going up against a fight. A big fight. So I did my homework. I spent hundreds and hundreds of hours in the library doing research. I looked up the non-discrimination policies of over 500 colleges and universities in the WORLD that included sexual orientation. I researched fortune 500 companies that chose to not discriminate. I looked at the legal issues – there were none. When all was said and done, my formal proposal was over 42 pages long. And I printed and bound 15 copies – one for each board member. I wrote my speech, put on my suit, and rallied the campus. Over 700 students showed up to the board of visitors meeting that November in support. Four students showed up against. It was extremely emotional. Although the vote didn’t happen that day, the proposal got taken off the table and would be voted on in February. Between November and February I lobbied each BOV member and worked to make sure that it would pass.

In the meantime, my car was egged, my office was vandalized, and blog post after letter to the editor was written in haste of me. It was a really difficult time. Then, the day before the vote, I get a letter in the mail from (then) Attorney General of Virginia Bob McDonnell outlining why the addition of sexual orientation to the university’s non-discrimination policy was illegal. I WAS FLOORED.

I immediately called out every hasty generalization and every fallacy McDonnell stated and even called the Governor’s office to get a letter of support. TAKE THAT MCDONNELL.

To make an already long story shorter, February 23rd, 2007 came. Over 1,500 students showed up in silent protest with signs. I spoke to the Board of Visitors. Shot down every lame point McDonnell stated. Gave my final word. And the board voted.

More CNU Students at Silent Protest in 2007

It was unanimous in support of non-discrimination for all on campus. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard in my life. That was/is by far my proudest moment.

PRESENT DAY

That Attorney General is now the Governor of Virginia. Ken Cuccinelli is now the Attorney General. And this is what happened: On March 5th, 2010, Ken Cuccinelli wrote a letter to ALL the public colleges and universities in Virginia stating:

“It is my advice that the law and policy of the Commonwealth of Virginia prohibit a college or university from including ‘sexual orientation’ ‘gender expression,’ or like classificaiton as a protected class within its non-discrimination policy, absent specific authorization from the General Assembly.”

YEAH RIGHT. Yeah, calling him on it. BULLPOO.

It’s 2010. Does the General Assembly have to give specific authorization for RACE to be a protected class? How about SEX? Many arguments against the inclusion of “Sexual Orientation” state that it is a lifestyle choice and that lifestyle choices shouldn’t be protected in policies such as these.

Regardless on whether or not you think one’s sexual orientation is a choice, let’s think for a moment. RELIGION is a protected class. And that, to me, is a lifestyle choice. I am a Christian. I choose that. Others may choose to identify themselves a Catholic. That, is a choice.

Marital status is a choice. My friends, who happen to be married, CHOSE to get married. It’s not 1493 in ancient Egypt and their marriage wasn’t arranged. It was a choice.

I could go on.

But my overall frustration lies in the message this type of letter is sending. It’s a divider. It’s making an issue (that shouldn’t even BE an issue) one of controversy, religion, and political affiliation. It’s not about being a republican, democrat, Christian, Muslim, straight or gay. In the end, this is about human beings, human beings who should never feel as though they are second class citizens. We are no better than our friends, enemies, sisters, brothers, neighbors, or strangers. It is 2010 and we should ALL feel equal. We should ALL be able to walk across town or across campus and know that we are protected by that which governs us.

So, to you, AG Kucinelli and Governor McDonnell, I say put aside your “religious beliefs” and “partisan politics” and wake the hell up. Know that the students in your Virginia universities are bright, intelligent, beautiful, and are incredibly brilliant. And just because you don’t agree with who some of them may choose to love does NOT give you the right to make them feel insignificant.

Even though I don’t live in Virginia anymore, I hope that this type of behavior stops now. If I learned anything from my mother, it’s that you stand up for what you know is right, even if it may not be the most popular decision on the block.

/Rant.

++++++++++

Want more information? Here is some of the archived press coverage of when I was in school and how my university fought to change the policy.

• Current Article with Reference to 2007
• Inside Higher Education
• Daily Press Spotlight
• CNU Board of Visitor’s Meeting Minutes: February 23, 2007
• Protest Coverage
• Office Defacement

Write a letter to or call AG Kuccinelli:

Office of the Attorney General
900 East Main Street
Richmond, VA 23219

(804) 786-2071

Write a letter to or call Governor McDonnell:

P.O. Box 1475
Richmond, Virginia 23218

(804) 786-2211

No excuses, but life has gotten in the way and my blog has suffered because of it. Ugh. Worst. BUT, as good ol’ Bobby Dylan once put it, “The Times They Are a-Changin’.”

Now, to the point at hand: Authenticity.

It’s a topic I’ve touched on, well, a few times. But it seems as though lately, a series of events, conversations, and life en general have further solidified my feelings on the subject. So, in summary, when it comes to authenticity:

Be who you are and rock the heck out of it.

Stop letting other people dictate what you should do, how you should dress, and what you should say. When it comes to applying for a job, throw the conventions of what you’re “supposed” to do out the window. Do what you know you should do (*within reason of course). If it’s been six months of looking for a job, and you still don’t have a job, change your way of thinking. Shift your priorities. Stop spending 119210928 hours in front of your computer applying for jobs online and get out there and use the people who know and love you. It’s not using them and abusing them, it’s taking your most natural resources that you have access to and being a genuine networking pimp.

Your friends, former co-workers, professors, and the like know you better than anyone. Ask if they know someone? Make that call. Make that connection. Go to another event and be awesome. Be memorable. Stop whining.

And when it’s not a job, but when it comes to life, just be yourself. I know it sounds trite, but I feel like the interwebs, and tv, and the opposite sex, and the same sex are all pressuring us to be/act/behave/talk/walk/sneeze a certain way. Stop pleasing other people. You can’t make other people happy until you, yourself, are happy.

Case in point – someone once told me my laugh was too loud. [SCREEEEEEECH] Guess what? I immediately shut down, became self conscious, and had a mini-identity crisis. Then I realized, that person sucks and needs to lighten up. Sure, I laugh loudly. Who cares? My dad has a loud laugh, my mom had a loud laugh, my sister has a loud laugh, and my family is happy and we love each other unconditionally and dinners (when we see each other) are hilarious.

Lighten up. Be yourself. And I guarantee, things will start happening for you. Whatever it is you want from life (relationships, dreams, jobs, money, whatever), it will come once you throw away the conventions and notions of what you THINK other people want to see, and you start being yourself and doing what you know to be true.

In my short 24 and a half years of life I’ve learned the following:

1. Laugh a lot.
2. Laugh loudly.
3. Work your butt off.
4. Laugh some more.
5. Work harder.
6. Love your friends.
7. Love your family.
8. Love unconditionally.
9. Work even harder.
10. Relax and don’t take it too seriously.

What do you think? Am I full of it? If so, tell me.

*All rules of authenticity are moot when general self-respect, decency, and not making a damn fool of yourself come into play.

Oh, two weeks ago I met the man with the world’s most contagious laugh. He exists. Thus, here’s proof that I, too, love to laugh:

Word.