This is quite possibly THE most adorable thing, I have ever seen, in my entire life. Well, not my entire life, but it’s pretty adorable. Nope, not social media related. Nope, not comedy related. Just an adorable kitten. I had to share this with you.

Thanks, @woley for sharing with me. Enjoy.

Can’t see the video? Click here.

Meow.

Some of you know that I write for a local news parody, Weekend Update style, show called DSI Witness News. In addition to writing for our own live shows at the DSI Comedy Theater, we write for a daily segment on a local station, WCHL 1360AM (every morning at 8:20AM and again at 5:55PM).

Well, some of you have probably seen these crazy Facebook phishing scams and viruses going around. “Test your IQ,” ‘I found pics of you,” and the newest, “Your friend’s booty looks GRRRREAT in the video.” Well, the booty virus hit local politicians and we were lucky enough to have THE Mayor of Carrboro himself, Mark Chilton, join us for a HILARIOUS episode on Tuesday.

(Click here if you can’t see the video. And click here if you want just the audio.)

Hilarious, right? Ahhh gotta love elected officials on Facebook. Thanks, Mayor Chilton for being awesome.

Question: Do YOU have a booty virus?

Word.

Most of you know by now that in addition to being extremely passionate about writing and social media, I am a comedian. I have always loved comedy. I can remember as a kid staying awake way past my bedtime, just so I could watch Saturday Night Live. I would watch old clips of Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin and think to myself, “Wow, I want to do that.”

I'll admit it. I'm a ham.

Comedy has influenced my entire life.

One of my earliest memories that I have is: I was two years old, sitting at my kitchen table eating dry cheerios and I stopped to look around. My mom said to me, “Honey what’s wrong?” I said, “Mom, where are the cameras?” This was a completely honest and heartfelt question. I honestly believed that my life was like an episode of The Truman Show (Even though that movie hadn’t even been made yet, that’s what I thought my life was. I thought I was on T.V. and on stage all the time).

I began acting in elementary school, and always played the comic relief. I started writing sketches and bits and putting on little plays for my parents or my friends. When I was in drama in middle and high school, I would always write a sort of “sketch revue” and try to have one of my sketches featured at an assembly or something like that. I performed all the time.

Then it came time to choose a college. I had been offered golf scholarships to a couple of large division-1 schools. [CONFESSION: Yes, I have played golf my entire life. Yes, I was the only girl on the golf team for a long time. No, I am not a loser. No, I am not better than Michelle Wie.] Well, I knew that golf wasn’t my true passion… comedy was (is). I went to visit Christopher Newport University and I heard they had a sketch comedy troupe. I went to see a show and fell in love. I was not going to go to another school. I WAS going to go to CNU and join CNU TONiGHT and be a writer and performer and be awesome. And I did.

Then in college, I took my first class in improvisation at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater in New York City, NY. I got bit by the improv bug. The feeling of ultimate positivity, being totally in the moment, and completely without a script was the most freeing thing I have ever done – and I have never looked back. I even moved to North Carolina to take classes at the DSI Comedy Theater. Improv is addictive.

I share this with you because of all these experiences (and the ones I have yet to experience) have helped to shape who I am and shape my perspective. Maybe it will help you understand me more. Maybe it’s just a good story. Maybe this is a waste of your time. Who knows?

But as I have come to love comedy and love writing and LOVE improvisation, I have come to totally and utterly admire these two women: Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch. They are incredible writers, incredible performers, and incredible women. They have truly influenced the entire industry to prove that YES, women ARE funny.

[I also totally love and admire Amy Poehler, but she isn't in this video. But it's okay. SIDE NOTE: I met Amy Poehler the summer after I graduated from college when I was taking comedy classes in NYC (PICTURE PROOF HERE). I think I was able to say a total of ten words to her. I totally froze. I suck.]

I haven’t seen this video in a long time! This is an awesome clip from an ABC news interview with Tina and Rachel from A LONG time ago. In the interview, they talk about their hilarious two-woman sketch show “Dratch & Fey.” Thanks @callmeKP for the link. They also talk about the stigma that comes with being a woman in comedy and how they have worked to combat that stigma. If you can’t see the video, click here. We can learn a lot from these women, no matter what field of “expertise” we are in.

QUESTION: Do you think that the battle that many women have had to face in comedy is similar to a battle women have had to face in business? Do you think the “male-dominated comedy business” and “male-dominated business-business” are changing? What progress have we made? Women in the United States STILL only make 78 cents to every man’s dollar for the same position and same work. I want to hear your thoughts.

Word.

UPDATE: Thank you to @RobLaughter for explaining the technical stuff to me. Apparently the #FailWhale shows up for HTTP 503 errors (over capacity). All other errors get the “something is technically wrong” robot. Well, I feel silly. But it’s okay, because I still haven’t seen the WHALE in a while and I kind of miss him. Is it weird that I want Twitter to be unreliable for ONCE so that I can see the whale again? Anywho. You can still enjoy my Twitter bits…

Where did my Twitter #Fail Whale go? I love the Twitter Fail Whale. It rhymes, it rolls off the tongue, and I got one painted on my face. Did Twitter get rid of the Fail Whale?

It seems they have replaced the Fail Whale with the “something is technically wrong robot.” That just doesn’t sound right to me – too many words and no rhyme-age. BUT, I do have to say that the little bugger is cute. I mean, look at him, with his awkwardly lanky arms, missing hand, and LeVar-Burton-from-Star-Trek glasses. Someone get this guy a hook!

You know what Twitter should do? Get rid of the “something is technically wrong robot” and instate the “Hey, LeVar Burton from Star Trek thinks something went wrong. Don’t worry. He’s channelling some space technicians from the Enterprise and everything will be back to normal momentarily… robot.” Sure, that’s a lot more words than “something is technically wrong robot,” but it’s a lot clearer and who wouldn’t want to see a debonaire LeVar Burton when Twitter fails?

Do you know what happened to the Fail Whale? Am I the only one not seeing it anymore? Or is this old news and my computer is just awesome and never fails so I just hadn’t seen it yet? Fill me in.

Word.

As many of you know, I am working two part-time retail jobs right now in addition to the work I have building my business. I worked my first official non-training shift at Anthropologie yesterday and I’m working 9 hours today. My feet hate me and I think I have the back of a 98-year-old. Ibuprofen is my best friend.

Well, working retail in the mall on Black Friday got me thinking and brainstorming about some things that we should all keep in mind over the holidays. These are generic and are in no particular rank or order:

1. Be nice to people who are working. If you have ever worked retail or in a restaurant, you know how stressful it can be. Those people who are working during the holidays are under a lot of stress. You don’t know the circumstances they could be under. Have a little patience and show respect – and I promise, 9 times out of 10, they’ll show you the same courtesy.

2. Don’t be gluttonous. Sure, it’s cliche to say “it’s better to give than receive” – but at this time of year and with the state of the economy that we are in, it’s truer than ever. Even if you can’t afford to buy gifts and donate them, go through your closet, get rid of that sweater you never wear, and donate it to someone who might need it.

3. Cherish the time you have with your family. We tend take our families for granted. This year, take a minute to thank them for supporting you through the tough times and the good times in your life. Now, when I say “family” I of course include blood relatives, but blood doesn’t make family. You know who your family is.

4. Take time to relax. I don’t know why the holidays seem to be such a stressful time for people. I always hear people talk about how stressed they are with traveling, shopping, time, etc… Just remember to step back, take a deep breath, and relax a little bit. It won’t kill you. I promise.

5. Cash for gold is a scam. No amount of money is worth mailing off grandma’s precious jewels. I’m just saying.

What do you think? Do you have any rules of thumb for the holidays? Any you’d like to add? You’re awesome.

Word.

GET WORDY, y’all. This is a new segment of my blog (hooray for new segments!). Since I was an English major in college and I taught high school English for two years, I love vocabulary. In school, I looked forward to making a gazillion vocab flashcards. Honestly, I LOVE words. So, I’ve decided to call this segment GET WORDY where I feature a word of the day/week/month/year that I am currently using, want to start using, or have made up. Yes, I like to make up words, too. I’m an improviser, making stuff up is what I do.

A good friend of mine and owner of the rockstar art gallery Wootini (where I work part-time), Mike, told me about today’s word for GET WORDY.

Quick backstory: So I walked in to work one day and we had just received a new shipment of KIDROBOT figures and there were a lot of open and empty boxes, in addition to some stuff left over from a previous gallery opening. Mike said to me, “Ahhh there’s so much CRUFT back here. But don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” I said, “Cruft? What’s cruft?” Mike said, “Cruft, you know, it’s like a bunch of stuff, that’s just in the way, or lying around, or piled up. You know, cruft.”

You see, "Hoarders," they have a lot of CRUFT.

I had never heard the word before. So I looked it up. This word rules.

Today’s Word: CRUFT

Cruft in THIS sense of the word is NOT computing jargon for “code, data, or software of poor quality”. The term may also refer to debris that accumulates on computer equipment. It has been generalized to mean any accumulation of obsolete, redundant, irrelevant, or unnecessary information, especially code. (From Wikipedia)

The CRUFT I am referring to is THIS: (this definition provided by UrbanDictionary.com and my brain)

Main Entry: cr-uf-t
Pronunciation: \kerr-rough-t\
Function: adjective
Date: Probably three weeks ago.
A : (crap+stuff+sh*t)/3 = cruft

That’s right. The word is simply a combination of the words Crap + Stuff + Sh*t = cruft. How awesome is that?

Let’s use it in a sentence: “That C++ geometry test goes in the “cruft” folder,” or how about, “Hey ma! Get your cruft out of my room. I’m trying to watch reruns of Good Times.”

Have you ever seen that show “Hoarders” on A&E? All that stuff they have? Now THAT is a lot of “cruft.”

What do you think of the word? Do you have a better word for all that crap n’ stuff that just piles up? Give me your best sentence using the word CRUFT.

I love fun words like this. Bring ‘em on.

PS: Happy Black Friday. I’m working in the mall today. Wish me luck.

Word.

…literally.

Some of you may remember the awesome “Awkward-Social-Networking-Pickup-Line-Pun-Contest” I held last week in a Thuper Therious Thursday post. If you don’t remember, then you can check it out here: THIS IS A LINK TO READ THE POST.

I have to say, I got some HILARIOUS entries. Hilarious. A couple pickup lines almost made me cry… from laughing so hard.

Congratulations to Jim Williams (@digitaldrivel) for his HILARIOUSLY awkward-social-networking-pickup-line-pun-contest-entry.

Jim has won a grab bag of comedy and social awesomeness from the Dirty South. Thanks for your hilarious line, Jim. Couldn’t have done it without you.

BUT, due to the fact that some of the pickup lines were borderline inappropriate, I didn’t want to necessarily post them HERE on my “professional” blog… so I actually posted some of them and wrote about the contest in a guest post for the MISTER DIPLOMAT blog (a comedy blog from the Dirty South). You can read the hilarity and see the winning line here.

Now, aren’t you sad you missed out? Don’t fret. More fun contests to come. I promise.

Word.

As you are reading this (barring that you are reading this ON Thanksgiving Day), I am doing one of three things:

1. Snacking on the snacking pie.
2. Stuffing my face.
2. Sleeping.

After doing those things, I will need to work off those calories. I mean, I AM training for a half-marathon. I can’t set myself back 6 days.

Well, I love to dance. Why not dance to the beat of the holiday? I will be doing the turkey legg. I hope you enjoy this video – and don’t forget to do the TURKEY legg (via@iagreewithjoe). If you can’t see the video, click here.

Word.

When I become a homeowner, this is exactly what I plan on doing.

Best. House. Ever.

(Thx @greglee for telling me about this house).

Word.

Sure, no one REALLY likes change, especially when change isn’t wanted or welcome. The status quo is comfortable, safe, and just “works” for us. Why fix it if it isn’t broken? There’s been some gripe lately about a few changes that are abound or have abounded… I’m not sure if that is the right use of that word there… and I used to be an English teacher, but I don’t really care because it sounds right to me and I like it. So deal.

But let’s face it, when stuff changes that we don’t want to change, we gripe. We complain, we rant, we throw up our arms and say, “TO HELL WIT ‘EM!” Granted, I do this too, sometimes. However, there are just some things that we are going to get used to. We will cry a river, but eventually, we will build that bridge and get over it. Now, of course, there are probably a few exceptions to that rule – and when we know that something is morally wrong or hurts someone, then of course we should gripe until it’s changed… but what I am referring to is not that serious.

Twitter’s New Retweet Feature

Yes, Twitter’s new retweet feature SUCKS. But, let’s be honest, it is not that serious. Some of the biggest complaints are that we can’t add our own 2 cents, that it doesn’t allow for additional commentary. Well, sure, not with the one-click retweet. But guess what you still CAN do? Copy and paste, add your 2 cents, and then type RT in front of it. Sure, it takes longer, but we can do it. Assuming our fingers still work.

And people are griping about seeing people they don’t follow in their timeline. Sure, it’s annoying. Sure, we don’t like strangers in our space, but guess what? In about 3-5 minutes, those people will be gone. More tweets will have come through replacing those of the ones we didn’t know. Phew. Problem averted. It just takes a little patience.

Or, if you use a web client like Tweetie or HootSuite, you don’t have to worry about any of the aforementioned problems.

Facebook’s Change of the News Feed

Facebook changed the user interface again. Now, this is a little bit of old news for most of us. The biggest gripe is coming from businesses who are trying to market themselves using Facebook. Their information is no longer showing up in the News Feed – it is only showing up in the Live Feed, which a user has to CHOOSE to see.

Well, businesses… I guess that means you are going to have to start working harder to engage your customers. The more you engage them, the more involved they become, the more your business will show up on customer’s News Feeds. It actually sounds like a positive problem to me.

I’m just saying.

Twitter’s Trending Topics Being Useless

Yes, 13-year-olds, spammers, and people who have nothing better to do (for the most part) have turned Twitter’s trending topics into something completely useless and borderline inappropriate.

There’s been a lot of talk as to whether or not to do away with trending topics until they provide more value.

I’m going to be honest and say, this is going to be difficult. Twitter has over 33 million users – and I will say that less than half of those users are on Twitter to engage, connect, and relate to people. Many users are on there simply to connect with friends, shoot the sh*t, and tell people what they are eating.

Now, of course, there is a VERY LARGE percentage of Twitter users that use Twitter in a positive, meaningful, and extremely valuable way. I like to think that I am one of those people. We can’t discount those users. At all.

But, I think it’s going to be hard to control the craziness of the trending topics. And seeing as how Twitter exec’s have been handling a lot of Twitter’s issues lately, I will be surprised if they handle this one any better.

But it’s okay, we can search for what we need and what we think is important. We’ll get over it.

The Cleveland Browns on Monday Night Football

It is no secret that I am a CLEVELAND BROWNS FAN. No, I’m not from Cleveland. I was born actually in Redskins territory. My dad’s from Cleveland, and therefore, when I exited the womb, I was to be a CLEVELAND fan. It is genetic. I can’t choose who I love, I just do.

And it is no secret that this season, we suck. The Cleveland Browns are a horrible football team right now. No doubt about it. Well, this past Monday, the Cleveland Browns were on Monday Night Football. And it seemed like everyone and their great-aunt’s mother was complaining about it.

Things I read on Twitter (all found from http://search.twitter.com):

• “Watching the Browns on MNF is like watching paint dry.”
• “So who’s bright idea was it to put the Browns on Monday Night Football yesterday? Whoever it was should be fired. Pronto”
• “New Rule…. No more Browns on Monday Night Football!!”
• “Why would they even schedule the Cleveland Browns for a Monday Night Football game??”
• “If you thought the Redskins were NFL’s worst team, you must have missed seeing the Browns on Monday Night Football.”
• “Sunday Night Football ha sido mucho mejor que los MondayNight Football.. Sigo si entender porque Browns en MNF???”

THEY EVEN COMPLAINED IN SPANISH!!

Look people, you think it’s tough watching the Browns on Monday Night Football? Try being a Browns fan your ENTIRE life. The only years we were good (the Kosar years), I was wearing a diaper and being fed mashed squash like it was an airplane.

If you don’t want to watch, then turn on something else. Quit complaining, because no one wants to hear it.

LOST is in it’s FINAL season and it doesn’t come on until FEBRUARY 2nd

Okay, maybe not everyone is complaining… maybe it’s more sadness from the Fans. I know I’m sad and I know I’m impatient. But let’s be honest, LOST fans have needed answers for six long years now. We’ve waited for a long time and we can wait a little longer. But all in all, it’s time.

I saw the FINAL SEASON trailer today. It’s going to be a good final season. At least it won’t have a crappy ending like SEINFELD or The SOPRANOS. Or, at least, let’s hope the ending isn’t like that.

——–

Okay, enough out of me. I’m feeling yucky talking about all this negativity. I need to go pet my dog, drink a Diet Coke, and watch this video at least seven times (NSFW – language).

I want to know, what do YOU think we will eventually get over?

Word.