[This post is all about the using the philosophy of improv to enhance small talk and social media interactions.]

PREFACE: My dear friend, margarita drinker, olive lover, and Punk Rock HR-blogger-rockstar, Laurie Ruettimann, wrote about this topic a week-or-so ago. Her post, entitled: “F@%k It Friday: Weather & Small Talk,” in short, is about how the weather unites us all — we can all create small talk by bonding over the weather. No matter where you are, you can talk about the weather. Laurie posed this series of thoughts/questions:

Do we have one universal ice breaker that works in all countries, cultures, and regions? Is it weather? Can we replace it? Should we replace it? What would we replace it with?

And of course, I got to thinking. So, I decided to write a post about this whole idea, but connect it to the things I know and love: IMPROV & SOCIAL MEDIA. Yes.

[All of these statements are going to be made with regards to the general public. So if you live in a small town or you're a stay at home parent or whathaveyou, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make a point ]

Unless you’re a hobbit or a hermit, you are interacting with dozens, if not sometimes, hundreds of people on a day to day basis. And I guarantee, at least HALF of those people are either mere acquaintances or complete strangers. Well, the days of don’t talk to strangers are behind us in a high-tech world. Most people are strangers to us. And of course, even our now-friends were once strangers to us. So, if we don’t talk to strangers, how are we ever going to make connections? Now, that doesn’t mean run off and start talking to creepos… use your judgement, people.

Now, the harsh truth is, that 9 times out of 10, most of us are somewhat challenged in the small-talk-and-make-simple-conversation-with-someone-we-don’t-know department. Therefore, we go to the default topics, such as the aforementioned weather, or “Hey, how are you?” I think both of those topics are fake, surface, jibber-jabber, nonsense that is superficial and just ends up being a big ol’ pile of B.S.

[BTW: For the most part, I really don't enjoy asking people how they are. Let's be honest, most of us aren't going to give an honest answer. Now, I like to mess with people that I don't know, so sometimes if someone asks me how I am, I'll give a crazy answer like, "Ahhh you know, feeling a little shmackity doo in a diddy land." People immediately leave me alone. And then I regret my decision.]

But going back to Laurie’s question, should we break the “universal” ice breaker? Should we replace it?

In my humble opinion, the short answer is, YES. Now the long answer is, YES. My explanation of WHY is TWO FOLD.

There are two things I am passionate about: Improv Comedy & Social Media. In BOTH of those fields, I am constantly engaging with people in my “community” – whatever community that is at the time – whether it be on stage or on the web. Either way, I have to engage, make small talk, connect with, and relate to people I’ve know for 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks, 10 days, or 10 minutes. It doesn’t matter.

Especially in the world of social media, we are ALL trying to engage with our community. And the vast majority of the people in our community, we have never met. Yet, if I were to only make “small talk” about the weather or how I’m doing in my social media or improv community, I would be seen as a “me-monster” (someone who only talks/cares about themselves) and I wouldn’t last 24 hours.

SO here’s MY question:

“How do we engage people in our respective communities without being superficial?”

In the art of improvisation, which I love so much, our primary philosophy that we live by is this philosophy of, “Yes, and…” meaning YES (agree to everything), AND build upon that agreement by adding new information, a detail, a feeling, or a consequence. When we are on stage improvising a scene, you must be in agreement and on the same page with your scene partner at all times or else the scene will fail.

For example, if you were to hand me an imaginary cat and say, “Hey Molly, I fed your cat for you.” And if I were to respond with, “What?! That’s not a cat, that’s a jar of peanut butter.” Well, then our scene has failed because I denied your offer. I did not YES, AND, if you will.

One of the best ways that I learned to really take the notion of YES, AND… to heart was to incorporate these key elements, in this order:

LISTEN. CONNECT. REACT. RESPOND.

LISTEN to what your scene partner (or the person in question) has to say.

CONNECT with your scene partner (or the person in question) on a personal level. Establish a relationship. Who are you to each other?

REACT to what they have said and how your relationship or the connection is affected by this.

RESPOND by building on that new information with something of value.

Now, of course, this all seems a little complicated and a little “much” for a way of coping with small talk. BUT, now hear me out, by thinking about these simple ideas, we can use the lessons we’ve learned to avoid the plague of endless, superficial small talk. Hey, at least it will make networking events a whole lot more fun.

People are interesting. Talk to someone you don’t know, strike up a conversation about something completely unrelated to the weather, or the event you’re attending, or the gum you’re going to buy while waiting in line, find out something about them – and be genuine. People appreciate a genuine conversation and people loooove to talk about themselves. We have so much to learn from each other that we shouldn’t waste valuable learning time by talking about the fluctuating barometer levels.

And what I love is to also apply these same philosophies and ideas from improv to my interactions online. Social media and community building is all about the give and take – the yes, and. It is all about the listening, the connecting, the reacting, and the responding. If we have too much of one thing, we won’t last very long.

Tell me, what do YOU guys think? Do you think these simple ideas could help connect with people in a new way rather than the traditional, “SOME WEATHER WE’RE HAVING” way?

Word.

Today’s video cracked me up. It’s the simple things in life.

Although most of us know that Twitter isn’t REALLY about answering that time-honored “What Are You Doing?” question, it does seem a bit crazy when you step back and think about what you’re actually doing when you post a Tweet.

Well, College Humor’s Dan Gurewitch (@dangurewitch) decided to hit the streets and test out what it would really be like if he announced what he was doing (like on Twitter), but in REAL LIFE. The results are hilarious. Enjoy!

Word.

I have decided to listen to my own advice and do a blog post with my Twitter #FollowFriday suggestions this week. YAY! And I’m even going to break it down into categories. Oh man, who’s excited?! I know I am.

COMEDIANS & ALL-AROUND FUNNY PEOPLE

• @BeauCribbs – I have known Beau for almost 3 years and his tweets make me laugh every single day. In fact, if he posts a tweet that isn’t funny, he immediately tweets after that apologizing for the unfunny tweet WITH a funny tweet. It’s ingenious. Oh, and he loves the Red Sox (boo) and The Office. What’s not to love? Well, the Red Sox for me…
• @CallMeKP – Kristen and I took an improv class together at the Second City Training Center in NYC a couple summers ago. She, like Beau, loves the Red Sox, The Office, and is incredibly witty. You won’t regret following this girl.
• @Pijornification – An awesome graphic designer. An incredible web developer. An even more incredible improviser, David Pijor is awesome. He’s so creative and always has something to offer.
• @zachward – He is the founder, executive producer, and director of the Dirty South Comedy Theater. He loves improv, he loves performing, and is the smartest, most business-savvy comedian I know. (I promise, I’m not biased on this one… )

SOCIAL MEDIA AWESOMENESS

• @WayneSutton – Wayne is a rockstar. No doubt about it. He’s a blogger, strategist, and social entrepreneur. He speaks all over the country, yet he calls Raleigh, NC home. How awesome is that? He offers great tips and always has great insight.
• @1918 – Not only is @1918 a Buckley (which makes him super awesome – no relation) Phil Buckley is funny, smart, and has a great sense for social media.
• @JeremySaid – Jeremy is the owner and CEO of Twine Interactive – and awesome media firm here in the Triangle. Jeremy is awesome. For reals. Trust me. Incredibly insightful, honest, and savvy.
• @DanSchawbel – Dan is THE personal branding guy. His tweets offer AWESOME resources and he offers GREAT advice. You’ll learn A LOT just by following him.

I JUST LOVE THEM

• @PunkRockHR & @lruettimann – Punk Rock HR IS Laurie Ruettimann. Laurie is my new BFF here in the Triangle, but that does not go without saying that Laurie is THE go-to woman for ANYTHING HR/job related/employment related. She speaks all over the country and writes an awesome blog called Punk Rock HR. I even had the honor of guest-posting on her blog last week. It was awesome! We enjoy getting drinks and eating olives. We’re fancy like that.
• @DSIWN – I would be lying if I didn’t say that I write for DSI Witness News, but DSI Witness News is awesome. Get hilarious updates and headlines – subscribe to the podcast. You love news? You love to laugh? You’ll love DSIWN.
• @GregLee – the marketing director for the Chapel Hill-Carrboro YMCA, Greg is an avid runner who has really inspired me to start running. He is going to help me as I start to train for a HALF-MARATHON. Holy crap, I can barely run 3 miles let alone 13.1… but Greg is awesome and is going to be a great source of inspiration for me.
• @colettewh –  Colette is my comedy-duo partner in our awesome improv team FEMMEBOIS. She is a funny lady and also a great inspiration. She just completed her first half-marathon this past weekend and also raised over $2,500 (on her own) for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Awesome. GO COLETTE!

PHEW! That was a lot. If I didn’t give props to you, don’t feel bad. I love you too! If I wrote about all the people I loved, well, that would take a long time. But I hope this helps.

You guys are awesome. Who are YOU #FollowFriday’ing?

All for now.

Yes, this exists.

For this week’s Thuper Therious Thursday, I thought I’d share this incredibly scary, adorable, weird, funny, [insert adjective here] video by @iJustine. iJustine is a blogger, vlogger, tech geeker, and tweeter. I have to give her credit, although it’s cheesy, it covers the entire Twitter spectrum. Hashtags and all.  Anyway, enjoy!

If you were to write your own Twitter song, what would YOU call it? It can be an original or a spoof.

A while ago, back in the day, I did a video blog post about “What is #FollowFriday?” back when #FollowFriday on Twitter was this new and exciting thing. Since then, I think most of us have lost sight about what #FollowFriday really is about.

See this? This is Twitter name vomit.

On Twitter, #FollowFriday is really a way for us to tell our friends and followers who we LOVE on Twitter and, of course, give props to those awesome Twitter rockstars.

Now, all #FollowFriday has become is a bunch of Twitter-name-vomit.

And that’s sad. When you rock out #FollowFriday with a gazillion (I still say that’s a real number) Twitter names, they all become lip-service and get lost in the mix.

How many times do you see a #FollowFriday on Twitter now and actually check out each individual name? I am going to bet that it’s not very often.

So here’s my tip this week: take some extra time with #FollowFriday and say no to name-vomiting. Instead, choose ONE person to give props to in each tweet and tell your followers WHY they are awesome.

Give your followers a reason to follow the people you love.

For example, I gave #FollowFriday props to two of my good friends Beau and Kristen. Here’s my tweet on #FollowFriday for them:

TELL your Followers WHY they're awesome!

Shameless plug? Sure, but the message is short, simple, and tells my followers why these people are awesome. Why not spread your #FollowFriday messages out throughout the day? Even more meaningful, write a blog post giving props to those people you love. That’ll really make them feel awesome and give even more credibility to your suggestions. Try it out this week. I bet you that people will be more likely to listen. Otherwise, it’ll be just a big jumble of names. Ya heard?!

So say NO to #FollowFriday-Twitter-Name-Vomit.

Love your followers and love those you follow and they’ll love you back. Word.

Social Media TIP OF THE WEEK: A Better #FollowFriday from Molly Buckley on Vimeo.

All for now.

It seems as though everyone and their great-uncle’s cousin is talking about Facebook fan pages recently. I feel like I’ve ready a gazillion (yes, that’s a real number) blog posts and tweets about “Promoting your Fan Page,” “Fan Pages and the News Feed,” or “Get Fans Now!” Some of those blog posts have been great! Some of them, well not so much. It can be overwhelming if you’re just starting out trying to decide what works and what doesn’t. Oh, and no matter what anyone says, you’re not going to be Michael Jackson and get 10,000,000 fans in 10 days. I love you, but let’s be realistic.

SO, as a follow-up to my Fan Page vs. Group blog post from last week, I decided that I wanted to throw some of my ideas and things I have tried out there for how to promote your Facebook fan page. And since I like lists and simplicity, I figured I’d call this “The 5 sure-fire ways to promoting your FB Fan page.”

[These 5 things can be applied to business pages, artist pages, organization pages, or causes - and so I don't have to say all those words - I'm going to call it your ROCKSTAR page. Mmmkay?]

1. Suggest to Friends. (This option is located right underneath the fan page profile picture. Also, you can filter your suggestion by region – this is great especially for local businesses). This first step seems so simple and so basic, yet it is the most important. Some would disagree and that’s totally fine. Sure, your friends will love you anyway, and if you want them to be a fan of your ROCKSTAR page, they, for the most part will oblige. However, the fact is, to build a solid network you have to start from the ground up. Lay the foundation before you start on the mansion. Encourage your friends to suggest the page to their friends – and so on and so forth. You know 20 people, your friend knows 20 people, etc. etc…
2. Make It Easy Online. Yes, shocker, promote your page online. There are a few simple and easy ways to do this. (Yes, this one has sub-categories. It’s totes fine. They go together).
   1. Create a Fan box for your website – this can be done by clicking the Fan Box link underneath the Fan page profile picture. A few clicks, a copy/paste of the generated code, and you’re done!
   2. Put a link in your e-mail signature - by simply putting a little “Connect with me on Facebook” link in your email signature, you’re able to so simple promotion a couple (for me) hundred times a day. Okay, so you don’t email a couple hundred times a day, but most of us at least send 10-20 emails a day. That’s 10-20 more people who will see your link. And if they forward your email on to people they know, that’s 10-20 MORE people, and so on and so forth.
   3. Custom URL - I am shocked to see how many companies still don’t have a custom URL for their Fan pages. If you have over 25 fans, you need to get yourself a custom URL. DO IT. NOW! Leave this site. Go! DO IT! http://facebook.com/username. Seriously, do it.
   4. Newsletters - despite popular belief, not all newsletters are so 2008. Many companies are using email newsletters as a great way to connect with customers. Include a link to your ROCKSTAR page in your newsletter. You’d be surprised how many people will at least click it.
3. Twitter - okay, not everyone who is on Facebook is on Twitter, and surprisingly, not everyone who is on Twitter is on Facebook. But Twitter still is a great way to connect with a different demographic. If your ROCKSTAR page is super interactive, why not link to it in your Twitter URL/bio? Now, don’t spam your followers with “BE MY FAN, YO!” every 10 minutes. But it is totally okay to send out a message once or twice a week saying, “Hey, we’re on Facebook – be a Fan and get awesome updates, etc. etc. etc.” Let them know you love them. Love your followers. Love your fans. And in the end, they’ll love you.
4. Content. Shocker! If you don’t have content, you won’t have fans. Your content has to be as ROCKSTAR as you are. Be creative! Have fun! Change it up. Don’t do all updates, pictures, videos. Add variety. Encourage discussion and feedback. If a fan comments, reply back to them. Pose a question totally unrelated to your ROCKSTAR self – see what happens. Keep fans wanting more. Also, don’t update vomit. Try to spread your updates out throughout the day or the week. Don’t come to the page once a week and post 20 things at once. That will just be annoying, not engaging.
5. If you REWARD them, they will come. Choose a Fan of the week or Fan of the month. Give out freebies and goodies to those who are engaged. Play hide and go seek on your page – hide something on the page and give the first person who finds the hidden thing a prize. Don’t leave them hanging. People love to have their backs scratched – so scratch them, and they’ll scratch you. (Okay, that’s an awkward analogy, but you know what I mean). Give them FAN SPECIFIC offers and content – it will make them feel special and make others want to join in on the fun. When people come to your fan page, they want to see a party going on. Cause people want to be part of the party. Am I right?!

Okay. So I hope some of those things helped. And of course there are a gazillion (yes, it IS a number) other things you can do, but I’ve found, using these 5 simple things has worked really well for me and those whom I have worked with.

Tell me, what techniques, tips, or tricks have helped you out? Have you done any of the things I suggested here? I love to hear other ideas!

But in the end, be the ROCKSTAR that I know you are.

All for now.

Since Facebook now allows you to tag other users in posts INSIDE Facebook - (I’m too tired to explain it here, - here’s a great Mashable post about Facebook status tagging) - many Facebook users are treating Facebook status updates much like they would Twitter tweets.

TAG! You're it.

So what are we, as Facebook users to do, if we want to repost and/or share Facebook status update we like? I’m calling it now. Or at least I hope I am – I haven’t heard anyone else call this yet. I’m trying to get on the ball right away.

Instead of a RETWEET (RT: a reposting of a tweet on Twitter) from here on out, a post of another user’s Facebook status will be called the RFB – a REFACEBOOK.

Here’s how it works:

• Step ONE: You see a Facebook status you like. Identify said Facebook status
• Step TWO: Highlight Facebook status. COPY Facebook status by either using the “Copy” feature in Edit or by hitting Apple C or CNTL C on a PC
• Step THREE: Paste copied Facebook status in YOUR OWN PERSONAL status bar
• Step FOUR: Tag the originator of the post by tying the “@” symbol and identifying the individual (see aforementioned post about Facebook tagging above)
• Step FIVE: Say RFB to indicate that this is a REFACEBOOK. Example: RFB: John Smith said a really cool thing that I support and/or think is funny so I want to RFB it, yo.
• Step SIX: Be awesome.

It’s genius. I love it. Who doesn’t?

So, spread the word. See a Facebook status update you like? Copy and paste it, @ tag the person who first said it, and RFB it! YAY REFACEBOOKING.

It’s the little pleasures in life.

All for now.

Disagree. Yes. I said it. Disagree.

Now, this is, of course, coming from yours truly who is, by nature, a people pleaser and I hate disagreeing. What? Molly hates something? Yes, and that’s negativity and disagreement. I come from an uber-supportive family and I’m an improviser. In improv, we are told that disagreement on stage is nothing but wasted time. Our philosophy, “Yes, and…” tells us as improvisers that we support and we agree with our scene partner 100% AND to add new and interesting information. If you and I were on stage and you handed me an imaginary cat and I responded by saying, “NO! That’s a dog!” – then that would be disagreement and the audience would immediately check out and loathe what was happening on stage. So, what does this point have to do with Social Media? And why on earth would I tell you to do something I, myself, am not even good at. Because I can, that’s why.

Now, I don’t want you to go out there and disagree just to be a jerk or piss people off. My point is that I want you to form your OWN opinion and that you don’t ALWAYS have to agree with people. Discussion and dialogue are at the crux of building relationships and, ultimately, a strong community. If we all agreed 100% of the time, life would be pretty one-sided and a whole lotta tunnel vision would be going on.

It’s important to listen to other’s opinions and take in each other’s perspectives. I learned this lesson very early on. My mother was a very liberal democrat and my father was a very conservative republican – they might not have always seen eye-to-eye, but they always appreciated each other’s opinions and took their perspectives into account – this almost made their relationship stronger. But this isn’t a relationship blog.

So here is your challenge: the next time you read a tweet, a Facebook status update, a blog post, or check out an article – find a way to, politely of course, disagree. Challenge an argument. Start a healthy discussion and see what comes out of it. See what you can learn.

Now, don’t be a jerk and don’t fight with people. There is a point where you can go too far. But I believe you can always learn from people who see things differently than you. But, you don’t have to agree with me, of course.

Social Media TIP OF THE WEEK: Disagree from Molly Buckley on Vimeo.

All for now.

READ: The FIRST EVER Deep Fried #TriangleTweetup at the NC State Fair (@NCStateFair) was awesome. I was excited that @colettewh came with me! Even though it took us almost an hour to find the unassuming white tent on the opposite side of the fairgrounds, we had such a blast. I met some awesome new people and I even saw some familiar faces (Hey, @1918, we Buckley’s gotta stick together!)

There were Twitter-themed swag bags, free state fair food (READ: chocolate covered bacon = NOT okay), prizes, free L’OREAL Paris makeovers, and even Twitter-themed FACE PAINTING. Mimi the Clown was awesome and did a great job decking everyone out in sweet Fail Whales, Twitter birds, and even RSS Feeds (@WayneSutton “gotta sport the RSS feed”). I took a picture of some of the awesome face paintings that Mimi the Clown did! (I particularly love the little girl’s AWESOME @ symbol on her forehead). Check out some of them here:

Tweeple Pictured:

• @WayneSutton
• @GwenSutton
• @1918
• @mollybuckley (that’s ME!)
• @colettewh
• @ashevilleallie
• @JoyNatalie
• @EllenLynch
• @JennaFleur

…and more! (Sorry kids! I don’t remember everyone’s Twitter handle, if you’re pictured and I didn’t list you, leave a comment with your name!)

All I can say is, I can’t WAIT for next year.

All for now.

I got to really thinking a lot this week. I have a post coming soon about education in general, but I wanted to really drive home this idea of educating YOURSELF. Especially with regards to social media (but honestly, this TIP can be applied to any topic or trade). Social media, as we all know, is changing every day. Three, even two years ago, people didn’t know what to think of social media, let alone understand it, implement it, and become an expert at it. That’s why I want to really emphasize how important it is to EDUCATE YOURSELF.

No matter how long you have been in your field, 10 minutes, 10 years, 10 centuries, you will never know everything. So take the time to go out and expand your horizons. Read a new blog this week, go to coffee with someone and learn more about what they do, attend a conference (Social Media Business Forum, anyone? I’ll be there!), go to a #Tweetup (DEEP FRIED #TriangleTweetup, anyone? I’ll be there!), or simply ask a question that you don’t know the answer to. It’s okay to ask questions. Trust me, as a former high school English teacher, I know that there ARE no dumb questions. It’s dumb to not ask if you don’t know. Ah, You get my point. Learn from someone else. Know that you don’t know.

So go out there, learn something new, and then share what you learned! Come back and comment on my blog and tell me what you learned - because I want to learn from You!  Watch the video. Learn something. Then teach me!

All for now.