Right now I’m…

wearing: my ikat maxi dress (worn in this post), my favorite gray TOMS with the hole in the toe, and a cardigan
listening: Zion – Hillsong United
reading: Inferno by Dan Brown
watching: Arrested Development season one (I’m rewatching the whole series in preparation for the launch of the new season on Netflix!)
doing: putting my feet up. I am TIRED. oh, and blogging, of course.
loving: simple nights at home with my husband – there aren’t that many left where it’s just the two of us!
hating: humidity – it is both the death of my hair and the death of my already swollen feet. Also not happy with the fact that I broke my tripod. I really need to go get a new one today.
wishing: a good night’s sleep.
wanting: any one of these shoes (no seriously, I’m obsessed with them) from ShoeDazzle:

What are YOU doing RIGHT NOW?

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*The link for ShoeDazzle is an affiliate link, but I really do love those shoes. My golly I love them. A whole lot. Those wedges? GAH. I die. Okay, well I don’t die literally, just figuratively. I’m fairly certain those wedges will find their way into my closet any day now.

Nope, no outfit post today.

To be honest, part of it is because my tripod broke (boo), but the other part (and much larger part) if it is there’s just something that’s on my heart that I just feel led to share.

Yes, be prepared for Molly word vomit.

As I’m writing this, I’m riding in the church van after leaving our service at the women’s prison where I volunteer. This was our last service before our “summer break” and the last service for me before the baby comes. I’ve mentioned this ministry before and I’m no stranger to a night like tonight where I just, in so many words, feel humbled.

However, in the two years that I’ve served on this prison ministry team, tonight was just one of those nights that I’ll never forget.

As many times as I’ve been behind the walls of NCCIW (the North Carolina Correctional Institute for Women) and as many times as I’ve spoken to and shaken the hands of those women, tonight just felt different.

These women, some of whom are locked up for a long, long time, were the most free I’ve ever seen them. I saw women who are daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers who have dreams, goals, and hope for the future – they just happen to be where they are.

Sure, some of them have done some pretty awful things in their past. Some of them have done things to land them behind those bars that are just unthinkable, but the fact is, they’re still women. They’re daughters of the King who need a second chance. They need to know they’re loved. Many of these women feel completely alone – so often they are in there and their families, friends, and loved ones have given up on them.

But the amazing thing is, that we don’t have to see them for their circumstances. We get to see them and love them like Jesus does. We get to show them just a glimpse of the Love that God has for each of them. He sees beyond what they’ve done… and the reality is, as flawed humans, it’s tough for us to see past that surface stuff most of the time.

So you see, everything was going well – things were great, and then a small group of pregnant inmates walked in the gym and headed towards the front of the room and suddenly, I saw those particular women like I see myself right now. They’re young, beautiful women carrying a child. Their child. Behind bars.

It’s not like I haven’t seen a pregnant inmate before, because I have, plenty of times. But it felt different tonight. I thought about how hot and uncomfortable I know I was standing in that non-air conditioned room and how much my back hurt and feet hurt and insert pregnancy complaint here and yada yada yada.

But then I looked at them and realized they feel exactly the same way I do, yet they’re behind bars. They don’t have a husband that’s there to care for them and rub their feet. They don’t have the comfort of a recliner and Netflix when they’re feeling exhausted. And they don’t have air conditioning… for the love of God they don’t have air conditioning – not even in their dorms.

But, what broke my heart the most was thinking about them… and their babies.

You see, I can’t wait to meet our baby. I’m so excited to hold him/her in my arms forever. But you see, for these pregnant inmates… it’s a different story. What happens to them when they go into labor?

Well, they’ll get taken to Wake Med hospital, they’ll deliver the baby, they’ll get three days (tops) and then the baby is immediately taken from them. If they are lucky enough to have a family member(s) who will take the baby, then the family will come and take the baby. Otherwise, the baby is immediately placed in foster care and the mother is more than likely to never see or hold that baby ever again.

Then, once the mother is released from the hospital, she’s brought back to prison and put back on the yard.

I can’t even imagine what that must feel like… to go through the physical, emotional, and spiritual stress of carrying and delivering a child, but then to be immediately separated and have to go back to “life as normal” – post-partum depression, side effects, symptoms, etc. – I just don’t have words. I have no clue what that must feel like.

I also learned that inmates who have just given birth more often than not come back in the prison severely depressed and many even try to commit suicide.

Breaks my heart.

Our pastor was able to be there live tonight and delivered a message to the women that clearly resonated with everyone in the room. But what stuck with me was his reference to life being like a game of chess and when we often feel cornered and alone – like we’re in checkmate – God shows us that He, the King, has one more move. It’s not over yet. It’s not over till it’s over.

The King has one more move for each and every one of us.

And so, as the service ended and those pregnant women walked out tonight, I made sure to look them in the eye, I shook each of their hands a little firmer and said, “Please know that I am praying for you and your baby. Know that I love you, but God loves you and your baby more than you will ever begin to imagine. The King has one more move for you…”

And then I quietly placed my hands on my own belly, prayed for our child, and I praised Him for the blessings He’s given us. I praised Him for His grace and his mercy. I praised Him for the second chances. I praised Him for seeing beyond our flaws, MY flaws, beyond our transgressions, MY transgressions, and beyond our “stuff” – and MY stuff. 

I know that God’s got a plan when nights like tonight happen. They happen when we need them most – when I need them most. I need those gentle reminders from the still small voice that my life is okay – in fact, it’s great. I need those reminders of my blessings. We all do.

And on a week like this week after such unspeakable tragedy in Oklahoma, it’s yet another reminder of the importance of the big things like grace, mercy, love, kindness, compassion, and hope.

So tonight, today, whenever you’re reading this – I just ask you to take a moment and feel comfort and peace in what you have. Even if you have what seems like it all or if you have what seems like nothing – just know how blessed you really are.

Know how much you are loved.

Know how much people care about you.

And even if you don’t want to believe it, choose not to believe it, have never believed it, or simply can’t believe it, you must know how much God loves you and how He sees you.

I thought, in closing, I’d share this song with you. I heard it for the first time tonight in the car on the way home from prison and I just felt like every single lyric was dripping with what I feel right now.

“When Love Sees You” – Mac Powell

Blessed are you, as you weep on your knees
With perfume and tears washing over My feet
Blessed are you, beggar, hopeless and blind
Calling for mercy when I’m passing by
Blessed are you, shaking your head
At two tiny fish and some bread
Blessed are you as you tremble and wait
For the first stone thrown at your sinful disgrace

Tell me your story, show me your wounds
And I’ll show you what Love sees when Love looks at you
Hand me the pieces, broken and bruised
And I’ll show you what Love sees when Love sees you

Blessed are you, walking on waves
To find yourself sinking when you look away
Blessed are you, leper, standing alone,
The fear on their faces, is all that you’ve known
Blessed are you, lonely widow
Who gave your last shiny coin to Yahweh
Blessed are you with your silver and lies,
Kissing the One who’s saving your life

Tell me your story, show me your wounds
And I’ll show you what Love sees when Love looks at you
Hand me the pieces, broken and bruised
And I’ll show you what Love sees when Love sees you

I see what I made in your mother’s womb
I see the day I fell in love with you.
I see your tomorrows, nothing left to chance
I see My Father’s fingerprints
I see your story, I see My name
Written on every beautiful page
You see the struggle, you see the shame
I see the reason I came

I came for your story, I came for your wounds
To show you what Love sees when I see you

When I see you
When I see you

If you’re still with me here at the end of this post. Thank you.

Now that I’ve had the chance to word vomit all up in here, I must know, what’s on YOUR mind lately?

Linked up with Because Shanna Said So

Cowboy boots, rain boots, booties, and riding boots. Truth is, I’ve never met a pair of boots that I didn’t like.

However, the truth is, over the years, as my love of boots has grown, I’ve come to realize that there is one pair of boots in my closet that I have gotten the absolute MOST mileage out of… and that would be my brown riding boots.

I bought these babies when I was on spring break in Rome, Italy my senior year of college and I have worn them so much that the soles have actually fallen off and have needed to be replaced TWICE. I love them so much.

I wear them in the spring, summer, fall, and winter. I wear them with jeans, shorts, skirts, dresses, and leggings. Does not matter what the case may be, I tend to reach for these brown babies whenever I’m in doubt.

And that, by my definition, certainly makes my brown riding boots a CLOSET STAPLE. So, I thought I’d cover 12 ways to wear riding boots in the next installment of my little closet staple series.

OH, and in case you were wondering, NOW is the time of year to buy riding boots. No, but for real. Seriously. Everyone puts their boots on sale in the spring and summer because it’s not top “buying” season -  I even found some MEGA sweet deals on boots (all for less than $50!) and have linked to some options at the bottom of this post, in case you’re curious.

Without further adieu…

Wear your riding boots with sequin shorts!

Or with a lace dress and layered collared shirts…

Or how about a jean jacket?

Or with skirts… or leggings…

Do you own riding boots? What’s the most versatile piece(s) you have in YOUR closet?

Now, check out some awesome boot options (all for less than $50!)!

Has anyone ever told you that you CAN’T do something?

I’m serious. Think about it. How many times in your life have you been told that you can’t do something? Maybe it wasn’t in those exact words, but somewhere along the lines, we’ve been told no. Or we’ve been told that’s not possible. Or we’ve been told that “it” is out of reach. Or we’ve been told “it’s just not in the cards.”

I know I’ve been told too many times that I can’t do something, or what I’m striving to do is out of reach, or that my goals are too big, or my vision is too wide, or my ideas are too lofty and that I’m just setting myself up for failure or to be disappointed.

Now, this isn’t me trying to be some great motivational speaker or anything, but I’m here to tell you that it’s about time we shut those people up. The naysayers, the negative Nancys, Debbie downers, and the ones who are always trying to tell you “NO.”

This also isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be REALISTIC.

I just think it’s about time we started ENCOURAGING each other and supporting each other and building each other up rather than breaking each other down. Help someone figure out what they CAN do, rather than telling them what they CAN’T do.

And personally, I know I need to do a better job of letting the negative stuff roll off my back. I’m a happy, joyful person and I’m pretty good at not sweating the small stuff, but every now and then I really let the little stuff bother me. I let the little stuff ruin my day. I let the negativity or the joy-stealers suck the life out of me… and then they win.

Whether it’s the negative commenter on my blog, the stranger who tells me I look “huge,” the news story telling me what I’m doing is “wrong,” or even the person who asks me if “wearing sequins while pregnant is okay?” And for the record, yes. Wearing a sequin skirt while pregnant is not only okay, it is encouraged.

All of this rambling to say, it’s time we all just got a little more awesome. It’s time we all set big, lofty, crazy, goals for ourselves. It’s time we looked at ourselves in the mirror and said, “Heck to the YES this sequin skirt looks awesome and so do I.”

And then I say it’s time we say to our friends, our family, our colleagues, “Hey you. Yeah, you. You’re awesome. You can do it.”

What do you think? Am I nuts? Am I just on some fluffy rampage? How do you deal with the joy-stealers and focus on what you CAN do?

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Our favs from last week?

Zucchini Bread Recipe

Neon Pink and Polka Dots

Coffee Cake Recipe

Glitter Nails

1. Follow your hosts Molly @ still being [molly] ,Carly @ Lipgloss & Crayons , and your guest host for the week Melissa @ The Bee’s Knees
   
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5. Have fun! Cause #YOLO!

1. I got the most beautiful bouquet of tulips in the mail for Mother’s Day – at first it was a mystery who they were from, but it turns out they were from my sister and brother-in-law. So sweet.
2. I love Sunday afternoons in a hammock.
3. So, I joined my husband’s gym. I’m sick and tired of “being sick and tired” and feeling awful about my body and the way I feel. So, instead of relying on walking and throwing myself a pity party, I’m taking matters into my own hands. No, I’m not bench pressing 220lbs or anything, but I’m doing light cardio and small weight training. But mostly, it’s to get me moving so I can stay active during these last three months of my pregnancy.
4. My sweet little sister from my sorority sent Baby Stillman the sweetest gifts.
5. We went to a Tar Heel baseball game on Thursday night with my office! It was fun (even though the Heels lost).

What was your favorite moment of the week?

How far along: 28 weeks
How big is baby: About 2.5 pounds and about 16 inches long
Weight gain: So, I suddenly gained a bunch more weight in the last week. I don’t know why. I haven’t done anything differently. In fact, I’ve been even more careful about what I’ve been eating… but I will wait and see what my midwife says.
Sleeping: Not great due to kicking, having to get up an pee all the time, and now restless leg syndrome.
Food cravings: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cheerios!
Food aversions: None really
Symptoms: The newest one? Restless leg syndrome. Yeah, it’s awful and so annoying.
Miss Anything?: Sleep!
Doctor’s appointment: I have one today! (Friday)
Wedding Rings: Still on!
Clothes: 99.9999% maternity clothes. Oh, and I just got a new maternity dress on sale from Old Navy and it’s AMAZING. I can’t wait to show y’all.
Movement: Baby Stillman = party baby.
Best moment of the week: My amazing husband has worked SO hard on the nursery. He has done such a good job – I love how hard he’s working for our baby already. Warms my heart.
What I’m looking forward to: Finishing up the nursery and our baby registry this weekend.
What I did / Got for baby: It was really all my hubby this week working on the nursery.
What I learned this week: Baby is developing more “regular” sleep patterns (or so says my app) – it seems like baby is awake all the time! hahaha
Prayer requests: Just continuing to pray for the health and growth of the baby.

Linked up with Lauren and Jeannett today!