No excuses, but life has gotten in the way and my blog has suffered because of it. Ugh. Worst. BUT, as good ol’ Bobby Dylan once put it, “The Times They Are a-Changin’.”

Now, to the point at hand: Authenticity.

It’s a topic I’ve touched on, well, a few times. But it seems as though lately, a series of events, conversations, and life en general have further solidified my feelings on the subject. So, in summary, when it comes to authenticity:

Be who you are and rock the heck out of it.

Stop letting other people dictate what you should do, how you should dress, and what you should say. When it comes to applying for a job, throw the conventions of what you’re “supposed” to do out the window. Do what you know you should do (*within reason of course). If it’s been six months of looking for a job, and you still don’t have a job, change your way of thinking. Shift your priorities. Stop spending 119210928 hours in front of your computer applying for jobs online and get out there and use the people who know and love you. It’s not using them and abusing them, it’s taking your most natural resources that you have access to and being a genuine networking pimp.

Your friends, former co-workers, professors, and the like know you better than anyone. Ask if they know someone? Make that call. Make that connection. Go to another event and be awesome. Be memorable. Stop whining.

And when it’s not a job, but when it comes to life, just be yourself. I know it sounds trite, but I feel like the interwebs, and tv, and the opposite sex, and the same sex are all pressuring us to be/act/behave/talk/walk/sneeze a certain way. Stop pleasing other people. You can’t make other people happy until you, yourself, are happy.

Case in point – someone once told me my laugh was too loud. [SCREEEEEEECH] Guess what? I immediately shut down, became self conscious, and had a mini-identity crisis. Then I realized, that person sucks and needs to lighten up. Sure, I laugh loudly. Who cares? My dad has a loud laugh, my mom had a loud laugh, my sister has a loud laugh, and my family is happy and we love each other unconditionally and dinners (when we see each other) are hilarious.

Lighten up. Be yourself. And I guarantee, things will start happening for you. Whatever it is you want from life (relationships, dreams, jobs, money, whatever), it will come once you throw away the conventions and notions of what you THINK other people want to see, and you start being yourself and doing what you know to be true.

In my short 24 and a half years of life I’ve learned the following:

1. Laugh a lot.
2. Laugh loudly.
3. Work your butt off.
4. Laugh some more.
5. Work harder.
6. Love your friends.
7. Love your family.
8. Love unconditionally.
9. Work even harder.
10. Relax and don’t take it too seriously.

What do you think? Am I full of it? If so, tell me.

*All rules of authenticity are moot when general self-respect, decency, and not making a damn fool of yourself come into play.

Oh, two weeks ago I met the man with the world’s most contagious laugh. He exists. Thus, here’s proof that I, too, love to laugh:

Word.

He’s phony, she’s fake
That’s the type of people I hate
If you real and you know it clap your hands [clap clap]
If you real and you know it clap your hands [clap clap]

-Jadakiss “Who’s Real”

Alright, the lyrics to the above song speak to my thoughts for today. It’s not the best song in the world, but it’s true.

As I work to expand my brand and forge new relationships, I seem to have started fighting this civil war within me. A battle between the organized, visionary, professional Molly and the fun-loving, outgoing, spunky, comedian Molly. I felt for the longest time that I had to keep the two parts of me completely separate. That I couldn’t let both Molly’s meet each other — it was like I was cheating on one side of myself with the other. And then I realized that I wasn’t happy. I felt that when I was being one Molly and pushing back the other, that I wasn’t being myself, or that I was being a phony version of myself.

This made me  realize a few things:

1. If I’m not truly happy or comfortable with a certain part of myself, then everything else that I interact with will be affected.
2. If I’m not showing my true self to my clients or people that I network with, then I am cheating them.
3. People can see through the phony — I only want to be seen as an authentic, honest version of myself.
4. One-sided Molly is BORING.

Finally, I realized that both sides of my personality are what make me unique. Why should I try to hide or stifle one aspect because I think that someone won’t like it, or won’t accept it, or will judge it? So I came to terms with this idea of: If I’m being the best and most honest version of myself at all times, and I’m happy with it, why won’t others accept me for who I am? The quality of my work won’t be affected. In fact, if I’m happy being the 100% version of myself – spunky + professional side and all, then you know what, the quality of my work will probably IMPROVE. Clients and those that I am working with or for will know that they have my full attention and that they are working with some one who is dedicated to her purpose and her visions.

As I fought all of this within me, someone gave me a copy of an excerpt from Gary Vaynerchuk’s new book “CRUSH IT” - and the chapter was on authenticity and being real. Every word in that chapter spoke to exactly the battle I was fighting within myself — worrying what other people will think. And it only emphasized what I felt: I cannot be anything other than 100% myself, or else I will eventually get frustrated, disheartened, and lose interest in what I’m doing and what I’m working towards. This forced me to write down facts about myself to put it into a more visual and “out-there” perspective. Here’s what I came up with:

Here are the FACTS about me:

1. I’m 24.
2. I’m a professional.
3. I am smart.
4. I am driven.
5. I am visionary.
6. I am successful.
7. I have worked for big names and startups.
8. I often change clothes more than twice a day.
9. I volunteer.
10. I am spunky.
11. I love my dog.
12. I often enjoy mindless television.
13. I love rap music [note: the Jadakiss lyrics at the top of this entry]
14. I LOVE Chipotle & Diet Coke.
15. I am an improviser and a comedian.
16. I love to break into dance in the car.
17. I am a writer.
18. I am a teacher.
19. I am honest and authentic.
20. But most of all, I get the MOST joy out of making people LAUGH & SMILE.

What I do in both the comedy world and the social media world is work to make something better. Whether it be making someone’s day better or improving the presence of someone’s brand. In the end, both sides of “Molly” are working to make a positive impact. And I love that. By accepting who I am and embracing all sides of my personality, I am able to serve others to the best of my ability.

Therefore, I’ve come up with a term for what I am: a SOCIAL COMEDIAN. I put the media in comedian. Get it? You see? OK, I thought of that at like 3AM. I think it’s clever.

What are your thoughts on authenticity and being real in both your personal and business life?

[Below is a visual example of what I'm talking about.]

With Governor Timothy M. Kaine

That SAME day. AFTER meeting with Governor Timothy M. Kaine.

Same day. Same Molly. Both equally awesome.

All for now.