If you know me at all, you know that I need a pair of these glasses. No questions asked. I want burrito vision. Thank you, Fashionably Geek (@NerdApproved) for introducing these to the world.

Need a gift idea for a burrito lover? Look no further.

Burrito. Glasses.

If you could create any “vision” of your own, what would YOU create?

Word.

There’s no secret about it. I love burritos. A lot. I would eat them every day if I could. But alas, I don’t. Thanks to @TedHobgood for passing along this amazing comic to me.

comic courtesy of buttersafe.

Word.

He’s phony, she’s fake
That’s the type of people I hate
If you real and you know it clap your hands [clap clap]
If you real and you know it clap your hands [clap clap]

-Jadakiss “Who’s Real”

Alright, the lyrics to the above song speak to my thoughts for today. It’s not the best song in the world, but it’s true.

As I work to expand my brand and forge new relationships, I seem to have started fighting this civil war within me. A battle between the organized, visionary, professional Molly and the fun-loving, outgoing, spunky, comedian Molly. I felt for the longest time that I had to keep the two parts of me completely separate. That I couldn’t let both Molly’s meet each other — it was like I was cheating on one side of myself with the other. And then I realized that I wasn’t happy. I felt that when I was being one Molly and pushing back the other, that I wasn’t being myself, or that I was being a phony version of myself.

This made me  realize a few things:

1. If I’m not truly happy or comfortable with a certain part of myself, then everything else that I interact with will be affected.
2. If I’m not showing my true self to my clients or people that I network with, then I am cheating them.
3. People can see through the phony — I only want to be seen as an authentic, honest version of myself.
4. One-sided Molly is BORING.

Finally, I realized that both sides of my personality are what make me unique. Why should I try to hide or stifle one aspect because I think that someone won’t like it, or won’t accept it, or will judge it? So I came to terms with this idea of: If I’m being the best and most honest version of myself at all times, and I’m happy with it, why won’t others accept me for who I am? The quality of my work won’t be affected. In fact, if I’m happy being the 100% version of myself – spunky + professional side and all, then you know what, the quality of my work will probably IMPROVE. Clients and those that I am working with or for will know that they have my full attention and that they are working with some one who is dedicated to her purpose and her visions.

As I fought all of this within me, someone gave me a copy of an excerpt from Gary Vaynerchuk’s new book “CRUSH IT” - and the chapter was on authenticity and being real. Every word in that chapter spoke to exactly the battle I was fighting within myself — worrying what other people will think. And it only emphasized what I felt: I cannot be anything other than 100% myself, or else I will eventually get frustrated, disheartened, and lose interest in what I’m doing and what I’m working towards. This forced me to write down facts about myself to put it into a more visual and “out-there” perspective. Here’s what I came up with:

Here are the FACTS about me:

1. I’m 24.
2. I’m a professional.
3. I am smart.
4. I am driven.
5. I am visionary.
6. I am successful.
7. I have worked for big names and startups.
8. I often change clothes more than twice a day.
9. I volunteer.
10. I am spunky.
11. I love my dog.
12. I often enjoy mindless television.
13. I love rap music [note: the Jadakiss lyrics at the top of this entry]
14. I LOVE Chipotle & Diet Coke.
15. I am an improviser and a comedian.
16. I love to break into dance in the car.
17. I am a writer.
18. I am a teacher.
19. I am honest and authentic.
20. But most of all, I get the MOST joy out of making people LAUGH & SMILE.

What I do in both the comedy world and the social media world is work to make something better. Whether it be making someone’s day better or improving the presence of someone’s brand. In the end, both sides of “Molly” are working to make a positive impact. And I love that. By accepting who I am and embracing all sides of my personality, I am able to serve others to the best of my ability.

Therefore, I’ve come up with a term for what I am: a SOCIAL COMEDIAN. I put the media in comedian. Get it? You see? OK, I thought of that at like 3AM. I think it’s clever.

What are your thoughts on authenticity and being real in both your personal and business life?

[Below is a visual example of what I'm talking about.]

With Governor Timothy M. Kaine

That SAME day. AFTER meeting with Governor Timothy M. Kaine.

Same day. Same Molly. Both equally awesome.

All for now.

Okay, I know I’m a slacker. I’m not even going to address my lack of blogging in the last month. I completed a 304 page yearbook, finished out my 2nd year teaching high school, drove to CANADA, brought on three new social media clients, AND I’m moving to a different state this Friday. Therefore, I’ve been rather busy. So, I promise that this is going to get better now that my schedule is starting to clear up… a little bit… sort of. Whatever, no excuses. 

I have a hilarious bit I want you to hear. I had the pleasure of doing a guest character piece on DSI Witness News Radio this morning on WCHL 1360 AM in Chapel Hill/Carrboro, NC. Here is the clip. If you’re not from Carrboro/Chapel Hill, you might not get all the references, but it’s still funny nevertheless. 

LEETHA, 2009 Graduate of Carrboro High School

All for now.

It was a Monday. No, a Tuesday. I was hungry. My mouth was watering, as usual. I had a craving, nay, a desire. There was only one thing that would quench my hunger: CHIPOTLE.

Meat + Cheese + Salsa + Tortilla = HEAVEN.

This day was a burrito day (as opposed to a burrito bol day). My weapon of choice? A steak burrito with rice, pinto beans, hot & medium salsa, sour cream, lettuce, and as much cheese as humanly possible. Oh, the cheese. I went to my usual Chipotle location a la Willow Lawn. “A,” the manager, was unusually happy today. We made our exchanges, and I went to pay.

Money is tight right now, but that $6.35 + a cup for water (but I fill it with Diet Coke, sometimes. I’m not a crook.) was well worth it. My hunger and pining for “The Chip” was almost a life or death situation. Little did I know that my notion would soon be truer than I would have ever liked it to be.

I got my burrito “TO-GO” because I had a lot of work to do at home. I carried it out to my car, salivary glands still teeming. I got in my 2007 VW Rabbit, placed my beloved burrito ever-so-gently on the passenger’s seat, and started the car, anxious to dig in to my delicious treat. I left the parking lot, naive to the grave reality ahead of me. It’s 5:15, on a Tuesday, in Richmond, Virginia. I have to drive on Interstate 95. There will be traffic.

As I merged onto the highway, an acoustic Dave Matthews set blaring from my stereo, I believe it was “Grey Street” LIVE from Piedmont Park, I dreamt of what would be happening in 7.45 minutes. And dreading the subsequent work I would be completing thereafter.

SUDDENLY, it happened. The car in front of me decided, at the last minute, to cross over four lanes of traffic, AT 5:15 ON A TUESDAY, because the exit he wanted was on the right, and he, of course, was on the left. Oh, MY BAD, MISTER BMW. I FORGOT YOU OWNED THE ROAD! BY ALL MEANS, CUT US OFF. Oh, no sir, no need to thank us, it was OUR PLEASURE.

THIS is the act of "mom'ing" in case you were wondering.

I had to think fast. My mind was racing. As my foot slammed the break to the floor I could think of nothing but the burrito sitting so sweetly on the passenger’s seat next to me. I did what was instinctual of any burrito lover, I “mom’ed” my burrito. As the car that so rudely cut me off exited to the right, and when I realized I was safe, I realized that my instinct, my arm, my “mom’ing,” saved $6.35+water/Diet Coke cup, and of course, my burrito. PHEW! What a relief!

I don’t think that if impact had occured that my airbag would have been enough. Yes, my motherly instincts saved my hunger.

6 minutes later I was home and eating my burrito.

And a burrito whose life has just been saved, tastes better than any other burrito I have ever had. Trust me. I would know.

All for now.

It’s Wednesday. Forget the FACTS was filmed on a Tuesday.

Last Thursday was National Librarian Day. But no one knew because they were whispering.

It’s also Earth Day. Why don’t you hug a tree?

Tomorrow is Take Your Daughter to Work Day. (And yes, we have a joke about it. It may or may not be “OKAY”).

Friday is Friday.

I am going to see the Dave Matthews Band in Raleigh, NC tonight.

Today is also Zach Ward’s birthday. Do you know him? You should.

I’m drinking a Diet Coke and thinking about Chipotle. A burrito, not a burrito bol.

Does anyone else think it’s weird that Burrito Bol is missing the “W”? I wonder if the Chipotle execs know that they misspelled a popular food item on their menu.

I don’t think the Washington National’s jersey-spelling-snafu really compares.

I have to go to the bathroom.

I’m just saying.

All for now.

2009. WOW. I think 2009 is, so far, promising to be an innovative year. With the inauguration of the first African-American president, the rise and fall of gas prices, citizens becoming more fiscally responsible, the conversion to all-digital television, and with the invention of the new Chipotle iPhone application, Americans are constantly thinking FORWARD. How can we work together to IMPROVE our lives? How can we improve the lives of others? Ah, it really makes one feel all warm and gooey inside. [It also makes me wanna snack on an orange glazed cinnamon roll].

Truthfully, it is my feeling that the best way to find out what people are thinking is to survey them. Right? Well, I guess that all depends on WHAT you are surveying and whether or not that survey is worth my time, your time, our time, time in general.

WELL, according to a recent survey, Sarah Palin was considered to be the most desired person Americans would want to live next door to. (Side NOTE: REALLY? You mean to tell me that money was actually put into the campaign of surveying people about this ridiculous question. WHO CARES? Seriously. Is this on the for realz?) Back to the subject at hand. Honestly, I think these results are interesting. Sure, she’s “cute,” “charming,” and “pitbull-like,” but let us consider for a moment what it would REALLY be like to have Sarah Palin as your neighbor.

She's not crazy, she's a maverick!

(These are not ranked in any sort of particular order. It’s simply a list of things I think might happen.) 

1. Hockey parties. Who doesn’t love a night over at the Palin’s with her Todd in the kitchen making stir fry and the rugrats running around the house while Piper judges them. Meanwhile, the neighbs are sitting in the family room discussing the Canes and how they are just like the Mighty Ducks. Be cautious however about getting too excited, you never know when someone might go into labor. 

2. Fresh bull. This is sort of a double entendre, if you will. Sare (my new nickname for Madame Palin) will not only grill the fresh bull/moose/bison/porpous etc. that she shot that day, but she will also dish out fresh bull…sh*t. You know, buttering you up. Like how she ate that entire fruitcake you made her when she moved onto your street. How she got her new suit at the local thrift store. That new haircut you got, just FABULOUS *wink*. Oh, and she can’t see you changing in your bedroom from her living room. We know this is a lie, because Sare sees all. She is the all-seeing and omniscient Sare. 

3. Innovative nicknames. The fact that she named her own kids names such as Trig, Track, Willow, Lawn, etc… we know she will absolutely be innovative in her naming of you and yours. 

++++

Well, no matter what, you know Sare would be a loyal neighbor. Always participating in neighborhood watch meetings, block parties, and social gatherings. And let’s be honest, she’d be a better gubernatorial neighbor than Mr. Rod Blagojevich.

All for now.

Now, I don’t want to be known as the girl who just discusses innovative infomercial products or plays the role of Captain Obvious. BUT, I couldn’t pass this one up. Passing this one up would be like passing up a free Chipotle burrito, and Lord knows I would NEVER do that. 

You may have seen this infomercial before. Apparently it’s a pretty well known product. However, I just got wind of it. It was even featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show. Wait a tick, so was the Cheers to YOU! CD… hm, I’m sensing a theme. Anyway, enough rif raf. Here it is:

The Hawaii Chair. You’ve guessed it, a chair that works your abs while you’re doing other things. Practical? No. Incredibly hilarious? Yes.

I really wanted to add some of my own commentary on this innovative product. But frankly, this one speaks for itself. Anything I could possibly think of to say is inevitably trumped by the image of corporate America swiveling rapidly while filing paperwork or discussing TPS reports via conference call. Am I right?

Ah, oh well. All for now.