As a female and a comedian, it is hard to develop and/or find a niche when it comes to “picking up” men (or women, who knows? I’m not judging). Typically, women comedians aren’t always the hot commodity at a bar or other type of social gathering. We have to fight and wit our way past the beautiful cheerleader-types, sorority girls**, and Olympic gymnasts in order to get even a good stare-down from a potential suitor. We funny women are the ones who are found standing in the corner at parties recounting embarrassing stories and telling 185 jokes [if you don’t know what a 185 joke is, google it.]
Anyway, so I have some experience with this, subsequently making me a credible source. I have had my fair share of relationship mishaps and “pick-up” fails [luckily THAT streak is over, athankyou ]. So, therefore, I like to think that I am somewhat of an expert in the “funny-woman-who-so-desperately-wants-to-be-a-sex-symbol” category.
The key to SUCCESSFULLY picking up a man is THREE FOLD:
1. Exude confidence even if you have none. Be the queen of faking it. Most comedians are improvisers, so improvise. [Yes, and...].
2. Always be “in the know” on the latest sports headlines. Before heading out to a party, take a quick look at the Yahoo! sports headlines and come up with at least one or two quips as to how “Player X” totally should have “Sports Moved” “Player Y.” Trust me, you throw some sporting jargon in there, you’re golden.
3. Compliment. Men love to be stroked, err, men love to have their EGOS stroked. So, stroke away. For example, tell him you saw Dane Cook in the shirt he is wearing [oh, and DO NOT, under any circumstances, reveal that you don't like Dane Cook or you'll never see past the first date]. Or, tell him that his hair smells like Ashton Kutcher’s. Compare him to a “hot” celeb and you will score major points.
3.5. When in doubt, crack a joke, in character. You know how to rock character work and you know puns. Throw ‘em together and you have discovered romantic comedy gold.
So, there you have it. The funny-girl’s guide to landing Prince Charming, or at least a good substitute for the time being.
Q: Why do Italians like to produce Theatre on Broadway?
A: Because they know how to RIG-A-TONY.
All for now.
**Yes, I am a comedian and in a sorority. I’m simply using a hasty generalization for the sake of comedy. So, back off.