me (far right) with one of my English classes

Some of you know and some of you don’t know, that I was a high school English teacher for two years in Richmond, Virginia.

I didn’t go to college to be a teacher, it just sort of, well, happened. I stumbled upon it. (The explanation of how I really got the job is another story for another day).

Regardless, it was by far the most liberating, challenging, rewarding, fun, [insert other adjective here], experiences of my short life. Although I’m not teaching, nor am I living in Richmond anymore, the students that I taught for those two years had such a great impact on me – so much so that I still keep in contact with many of them.

When you spend as many hours a week with these students as I did, you learn so much about them and their lives. You learn who’s popular, what sports they like, favorite songs, boyfriend and girlfriend drama, who’s taking whom to prom, what their goals are, etc. For many of my students, in addition to being their teacher, I became a mentor and a sounding board.

There were countless students that I didn’t even have on my official roster that would come into my classroom on a daily basis and talk to me or just want to say hey.

Well, in the last month and a half, tragedy has struck the Hermitage HS community twice. Two students, both of whom made an impact on my life in addition to the lives of so many other students, passed away at two separate times. Knowing what death and loss feels like, I grieve along with the Hermitage community. Young lives gone too soon. To the friends and families of Jackson and Drew, know that I’m thinking about you. You will get through this.

In addition to teaching English, I was the photojournalism/yearbook teacher. At the end of the year last year, I wrote a “Farewell from the Adviser” note and published it in one of the back pages of the yearbook. I pulled my copy of 2009 Panthian out today, read it and I just cried. I needed that.

And so, I thought it would be fitting to share it with you, for no other reason than I felt it needed to be shared.

A FAREWELL FROM THE ADVISER… (Dated June 2009)

It’s hard to explain to someone on the outside, exactly what it is like to be a yearbook adviser. It’s hard enough explaining what it’s like to be a high school teacher, who looks like a high school student. My two years at Hermitage have been short, but I have learned more in the past 670+ days than I think I have in my entire 23 & 3/4 years of life. On the day of my interview for my job at Hermitage, Mrs. Saunders and Mrs. Montgomery said to me, “How would you feel about also becoming the yearbook adviser?” I had told them that I was on yearbook staff when I was younger and that I would definitely be interested in the position. Well, when I came into work on my first day, smack dab in the middle of my schedule I noticed that I had photojournalism 5th block. I was naive, idealistic, and frankly, had no idea what was in store for me.

Being yearbook adviser has easily been the most challenging thing I have ever experienced in my life. [Students: you have no idea how hard it is to create this thing you're looking at. Cherish it. Love it. Don't throw it away, please.] Hundreds of hours are spending designing pages, taking and choosing pictures, writing stories, editing captions, editing captions again, getting quotes, placing quotes, finalizing spreads, getting proofs, fixing the spreads again, and maybe having to fix the same spread a 7th time. The details involved in putting together a yearbook are innumerable. And that’s the easy part. There is also this “other” part of being a yearbook adviser that no one tells you about. The part where you have to train, motivate, educate, organize, and empower 24-30 TEENAGERS into making the actual thing. Nope, no one tells you about that.

Well, on a sunny day in September of 2007, I walked into photojournalism on the FIRST day of school, (also my first day teaching, ever) and I had no idea that already, every single kid in that room hated me. The yearbook had gone through a lot of turnover with advisers and I was predisposed to be Enemy #1. As I read my syllabus to the class, I could hear the grumbling and I could feel 25 sets of eyes rolling. As I continued to read, the class became more and more agitated and I had no idea why. Suddenly, two students walked out of the room. I looked up, and if looks could kill, I would have been about eight feet under by that point. I knew right away that what I was facing would be a challenge. I also knew that it couldn’t get worse… right? [BTW: of course they eventually grew to love me, or tolerate me. I'm not 100% sure which.]

I don’t want to ramble and rehash old details of yearbooks-past, but I do want to tell you what I’ve learned. I learned about people and how to cope with differing personalities. I learned how to take every moment in stride. I learned how to instill a sense of leadership in those who had no clue as to what being a leader meant. I learned how to take the bad and roll with the good. I learned how to accept me for ME. I’m young, I look young, and I love to laugh and make people laugh. I had accepted that and I wouldn’t want to be any other way. However, I also learned how to stand up when I know I’m right and accept it when I know I’m wrong.

To the faculty, staff, and administrators: thank you for supporting me. Thank you for letting me vent when I needed to vent. Thank you for making me laugh when I needed a laugh. Thank you for all the advice, mentoring, friendships, doughnuts, popcorn on Fridays, stepping, and lunches. You are all incredible educators and the students at Hermitage are blessed to have you in their lives.

To my students: thank you for teaching me. I hope that I have taught you a little something. Whether it’s what you should order from Chipotle [and that Chipotle is WAY better than Qdoba or Moe's], whether it’s how to navigate the subways of New York City, or how to “blend in” when creeping on people for a picture. In the end, it is my hope that I have taught you to never settle. Accept yourself for who you are and embrace every part of it. Don’t change for something else because you think you have to. All of you are incredible young adults: bright, funny, smart, and confident. Don’t ever forget that, because I will never forget you.

In the school of improv comedy [yes, I do comedy] we are taught the philosophy of “Yes, and…” – meaning to accept every offer by saying, “YES!” and then to build upon that offer with something new and wonderful. My time here at Hermitage has been one big moment of “Yes, and…,” and I will continue to “Yes, and…” every moment from here on out.

Go Panthers!

-Ms. Molly Buckley

Well, and that brings us to present day. Dear Hermitage, I miss you.

QUESTION: What event/job/experience in your life taught YOU the most?

Word.

Spring is finally here. I am in an awesome mood. I ran a total of 11.5 miles in the past 3 days. I had Chipotle for dinner. Hallelujah.

Meanwhile, Genevieve Wellington Mathers wasn’t feeling well today, so her “little sister” Leetha Wellington Mathers decided to take her place for an episode of Spam Story Hour.

I lurve comedy bits and I do what I want.

Werd.

If you know me at all, you know that I need a pair of these glasses. No questions asked. I want burrito vision. Thank you, Fashionably Geek (@NerdApproved) for introducing these to the world.

Need a gift idea for a burrito lover? Look no further.

Burrito. Glasses.

If you could create any “vision” of your own, what would YOU create?

Word.

Every one has their own style. No two people are exactly the same. (Except for maybe the Olsen twins. They are eerily similar). There are different styles of writers, bloggers, marketers, advertisers, teachers, bosses, CEO’s, standup comedians, and improvisers.

Sure, to someone who isn’t familiar with the church of Improvisation, it might seem like improv is all the same. It’s a bunch of people on a stage getting strange suggestions and hamming it up to an audience. I assure you, this is not the case… most of the time. Styles of improv even vary from city to city and theater to theater. One theater might support an “organic” style of improv where you start slow and gradually find the crux of the scene, or figure out what the scene is out. Whereas another theater might be all about playing the game of improv – fast-paced, quick edits, an absurd world. and big bold characters. The latter is my world. And I love it. I’ve only been doing improv for a little over three years, but I know what is fun for me and what gets my adrenaline pumping. And that is no nonsense, take-your-breath-away improv. But each style is tied together with a few (or single) philosophical or abstract threads – make people laugh… now.

Similarly, in the world of marketing and media, there are completely different styles of how people want to connect and engage with their audience. Some companies are going to be way more in your face with product placement or “YOU MUST BUY/ACT NOW” deals. Others are going to use more passive marketing techniques – warming you up with nice words and pretty images, and THEN proposing their deal. And again, each style is tied together with a single (or few) similar philosophical threads – make money… now.

Whether we are talking about the world of improvisation or the world of marketing, the truth is, the big, bold choices tend to be more successful than the passive, laissez-faire, approaches. If I want into an improv scene hesitant, coy, and non-chalant, the audience is going to not trust me and check-out pretty quickly. But if I walk into that scene playing to the top of my intelligence, making a bold, strong choice, the audience is immediately going to be engaged with everything that I am doing.

If you try to market your brand, your idea, or your business by just resting on your laurels, you are bound to fail… eventually. But if you make a strong, bold, choice – differentiating your brand within your niche, making it stand out, and engaging with your audience, you have immediately set yourself up to succeed.

When I perform, I want to make people laugh. I’m not going to do that by just standing off to the side letting things “happen.” I make them happen. I play the game. I go in strong.

When you own a business or you are promoting a brand, ultimately it’s about money and recognition. Make things happen. Play the game. Go in strong.

Question: What experiences have YOU had with a successful brand? How were they successful? How did they engage you? How did they stand out? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts?

Word.

photo credit: peterastn

Sometimes we forget the correct etiquette and proper manners for Facebook usage. In case you HAVE, in fact, forgotten the rules, here is a short 1950′s-esque video to remind you. Enjoy. (I wish I could do my hair like Alice…)

If you can’t see the video, click here.

Most of you know by now that in addition to being extremely passionate about writing and social media, I am a comedian. I have always loved comedy. I can remember as a kid staying awake way past my bedtime, just so I could watch Saturday Night Live. I would watch old clips of Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin and think to myself, “Wow, I want to do that.”

I'll admit it. I'm a ham.

Comedy has influenced my entire life.

One of my earliest memories that I have is: I was two years old, sitting at my kitchen table eating dry cheerios and I stopped to look around. My mom said to me, “Honey what’s wrong?” I said, “Mom, where are the cameras?” This was a completely honest and heartfelt question. I honestly believed that my life was like an episode of The Truman Show (Even though that movie hadn’t even been made yet, that’s what I thought my life was. I thought I was on T.V. and on stage all the time).

I began acting in elementary school, and always played the comic relief. I started writing sketches and bits and putting on little plays for my parents or my friends. When I was in drama in middle and high school, I would always write a sort of “sketch revue” and try to have one of my sketches featured at an assembly or something like that. I performed all the time.

Then it came time to choose a college. I had been offered golf scholarships to a couple of large division-1 schools. [CONFESSION: Yes, I have played golf my entire life. Yes, I was the only girl on the golf team for a long time. No, I am not a loser. No, I am not better than Michelle Wie.] Well, I knew that golf wasn’t my true passion… comedy was (is). I went to visit Christopher Newport University and I heard they had a sketch comedy troupe. I went to see a show and fell in love. I was not going to go to another school. I WAS going to go to CNU and join CNU TONiGHT and be a writer and performer and be awesome. And I did.

Then in college, I took my first class in improvisation at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater in New York City, NY. I got bit by the improv bug. The feeling of ultimate positivity, being totally in the moment, and completely without a script was the most freeing thing I have ever done – and I have never looked back. I even moved to North Carolina to take classes at the DSI Comedy Theater. Improv is addictive.

I share this with you because of all these experiences (and the ones I have yet to experience) have helped to shape who I am and shape my perspective. Maybe it will help you understand me more. Maybe it’s just a good story. Maybe this is a waste of your time. Who knows?

But as I have come to love comedy and love writing and LOVE improvisation, I have come to totally and utterly admire these two women: Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch. They are incredible writers, incredible performers, and incredible women. They have truly influenced the entire industry to prove that YES, women ARE funny.

[I also totally love and admire Amy Poehler, but she isn't in this video. But it's okay. SIDE NOTE: I met Amy Poehler the summer after I graduated from college when I was taking comedy classes in NYC (PICTURE PROOF HERE). I think I was able to say a total of ten words to her. I totally froze. I suck.]

I haven’t seen this video in a long time! This is an awesome clip from an ABC news interview with Tina and Rachel from A LONG time ago. In the interview, they talk about their hilarious two-woman sketch show “Dratch & Fey.” Thanks @callmeKP for the link. They also talk about the stigma that comes with being a woman in comedy and how they have worked to combat that stigma. If you can’t see the video, click here. We can learn a lot from these women, no matter what field of “expertise” we are in.

QUESTION: Do you think that the battle that many women have had to face in comedy is similar to a battle women have had to face in business? Do you think the “male-dominated comedy business” and “male-dominated business-business” are changing? What progress have we made? Women in the United States STILL only make 78 cents to every man’s dollar for the same position and same work. I want to hear your thoughts.

Word.

This week seems to be sending me inspiration left and right. First my small talk post, now this week’s tip of the week! I was reading Chris Brogan’s blog (say THAT 3x fast) the other day, and he had a great post about the questions that we should ask ourselves and our business – especially with regards to social media.

As usual, his post brought up some great points and I got to thinking about each question and the impact it had on my business. (I’m not going to regurgitate all 7 questions here, you can check out his post by clicking this link).

Then I realized a question was missing. It got me thinking and here is the question I have posed:

When it comes to our practices, whether those be business, branding, or marketing, how are we differentiating ourselves from the pack? In essence, what makes US unique?

I know not all of you own your own business, plan to own your own business, or are even passionate about being an entrepreneur, but my point is that this theory can be applied to any of us, no matter our role. We are all, in and of ourselves, our own “business.” Our personal brand is our business. How we market ourselves, how we represent our brand, and how the world sees us, are all part of our overall “business plan.”

But in this day and age, it is easy to get lost in mix and mass of content out there. For example, when looking for a job, how do YOU make yourself stand out above the other hundred-or-so applicants? Or if you’re a business, how do you make your business stand out against your competitors?

The short answer is to find that unique angle or perspective that differentiates you from the pack.

The long answer is, unfortunately, that can sometimes be difficult.

For me, it has been a challenge. I am passionate about social media and marketing, but so are a gazillion other people out there. So how do I make my brand different than the rest? I don’t want to be better than anyone, but I do want to stand out and I want people to know my name.

My other passion, comedy, was something I thought for a long time that I had to keep separate from my social media brand. Then it dawned on me: Why do I need to separate the two? They are both part of me. Why not combine them? Which is where I came up with the idea of THE Molly Buckley – where I put the MEDIA in comedian.

I am who I am and I’m going to own it. THAT makes me different. THAT makes me unique.

So, my tip this week – is to find out what makes YOUR brand unique. From what angle do you approach your business so that you can stand out from the crowd? What makes your business special?

Find that niche and OWN it. Be the rockstar you know you are. What do YOU think?

If you can’t see the video, click here.

Word.

[This post is all about the using the philosophy of improv to enhance small talk and social media interactions.]

PREFACE: My dear friend, margarita drinker, olive lover, and Punk Rock HR-blogger-rockstar, Laurie Ruettimann, wrote about this topic a week-or-so ago. Her post, entitled: “F@%k It Friday: Weather & Small Talk,” in short, is about how the weather unites us all — we can all create small talk by bonding over the weather. No matter where you are, you can talk about the weather. Laurie posed this series of thoughts/questions:

Do we have one universal ice breaker that works in all countries, cultures, and regions? Is it weather? Can we replace it? Should we replace it? What would we replace it with?

And of course, I got to thinking. So, I decided to write a post about this whole idea, but connect it to the things I know and love: IMPROV & SOCIAL MEDIA. Yes.

[All of these statements are going to be made with regards to the general public. So if you live in a small town or you're a stay at home parent or whathaveyou, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make a point ]

Unless you’re a hobbit or a hermit, you are interacting with dozens, if not sometimes, hundreds of people on a day to day basis. And I guarantee, at least HALF of those people are either mere acquaintances or complete strangers. Well, the days of don’t talk to strangers are behind us in a high-tech world. Most people are strangers to us. And of course, even our now-friends were once strangers to us. So, if we don’t talk to strangers, how are we ever going to make connections? Now, that doesn’t mean run off and start talking to creepos… use your judgement, people.

Now, the harsh truth is, that 9 times out of 10, most of us are somewhat challenged in the small-talk-and-make-simple-conversation-with-someone-we-don’t-know department. Therefore, we go to the default topics, such as the aforementioned weather, or “Hey, how are you?” I think both of those topics are fake, surface, jibber-jabber, nonsense that is superficial and just ends up being a big ol’ pile of B.S.

[BTW: For the most part, I really don't enjoy asking people how they are. Let's be honest, most of us aren't going to give an honest answer. Now, I like to mess with people that I don't know, so sometimes if someone asks me how I am, I'll give a crazy answer like, "Ahhh you know, feeling a little shmackity doo in a diddy land." People immediately leave me alone. And then I regret my decision.]

But going back to Laurie’s question, should we break the “universal” ice breaker? Should we replace it?

In my humble opinion, the short answer is, YES. Now the long answer is, YES. My explanation of WHY is TWO FOLD.

There are two things I am passionate about: Improv Comedy & Social Media. In BOTH of those fields, I am constantly engaging with people in my “community” – whatever community that is at the time – whether it be on stage or on the web. Either way, I have to engage, make small talk, connect with, and relate to people I’ve know for 10 years, 10 months, 10 weeks, 10 days, or 10 minutes. It doesn’t matter.

Especially in the world of social media, we are ALL trying to engage with our community. And the vast majority of the people in our community, we have never met. Yet, if I were to only make “small talk” about the weather or how I’m doing in my social media or improv community, I would be seen as a “me-monster” (someone who only talks/cares about themselves) and I wouldn’t last 24 hours.

SO here’s MY question:

“How do we engage people in our respective communities without being superficial?”

In the art of improvisation, which I love so much, our primary philosophy that we live by is this philosophy of, “Yes, and…” meaning YES (agree to everything), AND build upon that agreement by adding new information, a detail, a feeling, or a consequence. When we are on stage improvising a scene, you must be in agreement and on the same page with your scene partner at all times or else the scene will fail.

For example, if you were to hand me an imaginary cat and say, “Hey Molly, I fed your cat for you.” And if I were to respond with, “What?! That’s not a cat, that’s a jar of peanut butter.” Well, then our scene has failed because I denied your offer. I did not YES, AND, if you will.

One of the best ways that I learned to really take the notion of YES, AND… to heart was to incorporate these key elements, in this order:

LISTEN. CONNECT. REACT. RESPOND.

LISTEN to what your scene partner (or the person in question) has to say.

CONNECT with your scene partner (or the person in question) on a personal level. Establish a relationship. Who are you to each other?

REACT to what they have said and how your relationship or the connection is affected by this.

RESPOND by building on that new information with something of value.

Now, of course, this all seems a little complicated and a little “much” for a way of coping with small talk. BUT, now hear me out, by thinking about these simple ideas, we can use the lessons we’ve learned to avoid the plague of endless, superficial small talk. Hey, at least it will make networking events a whole lot more fun.

People are interesting. Talk to someone you don’t know, strike up a conversation about something completely unrelated to the weather, or the event you’re attending, or the gum you’re going to buy while waiting in line, find out something about them – and be genuine. People appreciate a genuine conversation and people loooove to talk about themselves. We have so much to learn from each other that we shouldn’t waste valuable learning time by talking about the fluctuating barometer levels.

And what I love is to also apply these same philosophies and ideas from improv to my interactions online. Social media and community building is all about the give and take – the yes, and. It is all about the listening, the connecting, the reacting, and the responding. If we have too much of one thing, we won’t last very long.

Tell me, what do YOU guys think? Do you think these simple ideas could help connect with people in a new way rather than the traditional, “SOME WEATHER WE’RE HAVING” way?

Word.

I have decided to listen to my own advice and do a blog post with my Twitter #FollowFriday suggestions this week. YAY! And I’m even going to break it down into categories. Oh man, who’s excited?! I know I am.

COMEDIANS & ALL-AROUND FUNNY PEOPLE

• @BeauCribbs – I have known Beau for almost 3 years and his tweets make me laugh every single day. In fact, if he posts a tweet that isn’t funny, he immediately tweets after that apologizing for the unfunny tweet WITH a funny tweet. It’s ingenious. Oh, and he loves the Red Sox (boo) and The Office. What’s not to love? Well, the Red Sox for me…
• @CallMeKP – Kristen and I took an improv class together at the Second City Training Center in NYC a couple summers ago. She, like Beau, loves the Red Sox, The Office, and is incredibly witty. You won’t regret following this girl.
• @Pijornification – An awesome graphic designer. An incredible web developer. An even more incredible improviser, David Pijor is awesome. He’s so creative and always has something to offer.
• @zachward – He is the founder, executive producer, and director of the Dirty South Comedy Theater. He loves improv, he loves performing, and is the smartest, most business-savvy comedian I know. (I promise, I’m not biased on this one… )

SOCIAL MEDIA AWESOMENESS

• @WayneSutton – Wayne is a rockstar. No doubt about it. He’s a blogger, strategist, and social entrepreneur. He speaks all over the country, yet he calls Raleigh, NC home. How awesome is that? He offers great tips and always has great insight.
• @1918 – Not only is @1918 a Buckley (which makes him super awesome – no relation) Phil Buckley is funny, smart, and has a great sense for social media.
• @JeremySaid – Jeremy is the owner and CEO of Twine Interactive – and awesome media firm here in the Triangle. Jeremy is awesome. For reals. Trust me. Incredibly insightful, honest, and savvy.
• @DanSchawbel – Dan is THE personal branding guy. His tweets offer AWESOME resources and he offers GREAT advice. You’ll learn A LOT just by following him.

I JUST LOVE THEM

• @PunkRockHR & @lruettimann – Punk Rock HR IS Laurie Ruettimann. Laurie is my new BFF here in the Triangle, but that does not go without saying that Laurie is THE go-to woman for ANYTHING HR/job related/employment related. She speaks all over the country and writes an awesome blog called Punk Rock HR. I even had the honor of guest-posting on her blog last week. It was awesome! We enjoy getting drinks and eating olives. We’re fancy like that.
• @DSIWN – I would be lying if I didn’t say that I write for DSI Witness News, but DSI Witness News is awesome. Get hilarious updates and headlines – subscribe to the podcast. You love news? You love to laugh? You’ll love DSIWN.
• @GregLee – the marketing director for the Chapel Hill-Carrboro YMCA, Greg is an avid runner who has really inspired me to start running. He is going to help me as I start to train for a HALF-MARATHON. Holy crap, I can barely run 3 miles let alone 13.1… but Greg is awesome and is going to be a great source of inspiration for me.
• @colettewh –  Colette is my comedy-duo partner in our awesome improv team FEMMEBOIS. She is a funny lady and also a great inspiration. She just completed her first half-marathon this past weekend and also raised over $2,500 (on her own) for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Awesome. GO COLETTE!

PHEW! That was a lot. If I didn’t give props to you, don’t feel bad. I love you too! If I wrote about all the people I loved, well, that would take a long time. But I hope this helps.

You guys are awesome. Who are YOU #FollowFriday’ing?

All for now.

One of the most famous television hosts, Soupy Sales, passed away last week – October 22, 2009 – at the age of 83. I remember my dad telling me when I was a kid about Soupy Sales and how he used to watch Lunch with Soupy Sales everyday. Although I, personally never had the opportunity to watch Soupy, I still know what he did for television and what he did for comedy. I wanted to share this video on my comedy blog because I think it really is a testament to his charm, his wit, and of course, his hilarious New Year’s Day stunt in 1965. Enjoy!

All for now.