Tag Archives: iphone

Forget the FACTS: Bill Gates' iLAND FTW!

Forget the FACTS took a break last week due to my possession of the plague. [Is the black plague still around? Because I think I had it...]. Well, we are back and better than ever this week with some good bits, and I mean good. No “news stone” goes unturned in the world of Ryan & Molly.

This week, we tackled issues like Bill Gates’ and his iPhone hating, Germans and their topics of discussion, China, God’s answering machine, Christian Bale, and MORE. If you like Forget the FACTS, keep checking back. If you don’t, check back anyway.

We’re all opinions, a whole lot of bits, and no facts. Well, sometimes there are facts. It just depends.

All for now.

Ah, gracias para la "fresh bull," Señora Palin.

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2009. WOW. I think 2009 is, so far, promising to be an innovative year. With the inauguration of the first African-American president, the rise and fall of gas prices, citizens becoming more fiscally responsible, the conversion to all-digital television, and with the invention of the new Chipotle iPhone application, Americans are constantly thinking FORWARD. How can we work together to IMPROVE our lives? How can we improve the lives of others? Ah, it really makes one feel all warm and gooey inside. [It also makes me wanna snack on an orange glazed cinnamon roll].

Truthfully, it is my feeling that the best way to find out what people are thinking is to survey them. Right? Well, I guess that all depends on WHAT you are surveying and whether or not that survey is worth my time, your time, our time, time in general.

WELL, according to a recent survey, Sarah Palin was considered to be the most desired person Americans would want to live next door to. (Side NOTE: REALLY? You mean to tell me that money was actually put into the campaign of surveying people about this ridiculous question. WHO CARES? Seriously. Is this on the for realz?) Back to the subject at hand. Honestly, I think these results are interesting. Sure, she’s “cute,” “charming,” and “pitbull-like,” but let us consider for a moment what it would REALLY be like to have Sarah Palin as your neighbor.

She's not crazy, she's a maverick!

(These are not ranked in any sort of particular order. It’s simply a list of things I think might happen.)

1. Hockey parties. Who doesn’t love a night over at the Palin’s with her Todd in the kitchen making stir fry and the rugrats running around the house while Piper judges them. Meanwhile, the neighbs are sitting in the family room discussing the Canes and how they are just like the Mighty Ducks. Be cautious however about getting too excited, you never know when someone might go into labor.

2. Fresh bull. This is sort of a double entendre, if you will. Sare (my new nickname for Madame Palin) will not only grill the fresh bull/moose/bison/porpous etc. that she shot that day, but she will also dish out fresh bull…sh*t. You know, buttering you up. Like how she ate that entire fruitcake you made her when she moved onto your street. How she got her new suit at the local thrift store. That new haircut you got, just FABULOUS *wink*. Oh, and she can’t see you changing in your bedroom from her living room. We know this is a lie, because Sare sees all. She is the all-seeing and omniscient Sare.

3. Innovative nicknames. The fact that she named her own kids names such as Trig, Track, Willow, Lawn, etc… we know she will absolutely be innovative in her naming of you and yours.

++++

Well, no matter what, you know Sare would be a loyal neighbor. Always participating in neighborhood watch meetings, block parties, and social gatherings. And let’s be honest, she’d be a better gubernatorial neighbor than Mr. Rod Blagojevich.

All for now.

Excuse Me, While I "POP" Away.

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In honor of this year’s Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, I have decided to re-post an old post! YAY!

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Bubble wrap. American’s have a fascination, nay, infatuation, with this cheap, plastic packaging material. However, I don’t think that as we are experiencing the cathartic process that is popping those wonderful bubble, we realize how silly the whole idea REALLY is.

(For me, personally, I adore a good bubble wrap popping sesh. I mean, who DOESN’T? BUT, it’s time to face the facts, people.)

1. It’s plastic. SURE, plastic makes it possible. But was this protective product originally meant to serve as an all purpose fun tool? I don’t think so. I don’t think the creator of bubble wrap said, “You know, I bet this stuff will provide parents with yet another reason to get pissed off at their kids and take away their Wii privileges.”

2. The invention of the iPhone app. REALLY? You mean to tell me that iPhone users couldn’t just pop tangible, real-life bubble wrap, they had to go and create an iPhone application that allows one to satisfy his/her “popping” itch ON THE GO?! (I’m going to cower in shame for two seconds of honesty. I downloaded the application myself and had it on my iPhone for not one, not two, but THREE months. Don’t fret, I finally deleted it and replaced it with the “knock on wood application”).

3. Bubble wrap appreciation day. The last Monday of January. I’m not kidding.

4. The fact that it is making this guy a millionaire (which you know he will be). NOT OKAY. A calendar. One where you can POP the days away. Boy, if that isn’t a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is. But, oh what the heck, I’m totally going to get one.

Awesome.

All for now.