I weighed in this morning and I lost 0.4 pounds bringing my total weight loss since January 4th to 17.6 pounds.

Overall, 17.6 pounds isn’t too shabby. But when you’re working your butt off each and every week sweating, exercising, and eating lots of veggies, it can be frustrating to see only a 0.4 pound loss. Like, that’s not even a half a pound. That’s like 1/3 of a pound? I don’t know, I’m terrible with fractions.

One of the awesome things about the LoseIt app (which I rave about all the time) is the support system that’s on there. I’m “friends” with all of these strangers who are trying to do the same thing I’m doing… lose weight and get healthy… and they are there to celebrate losses and offer advice with gains. When I logged my measly 0.4 weight loss this morning, within 10 minutes I had comments from other LoseIt users saying, “Way to go, Molly!” and “There you go, Molly! That’s great!” and “Yes! You got it!” I mean, 0.4 pounds lost and you’d think I’d run a marathon or something like that.

However, in bringing it all full circle, I know that I have to celebrate the little things. In life, we all have to celebrate the little things. If we don’t, we may lose sight of what we’re doing, or what our goals are, or even, where we’ve been.

When work is stressful, like it’s been for me for oh, the past year and a half, and my to-do list is 12 miles long, I have to celebrate each little task completed (BTW: Remember the Milk = best task app EVAR), each little victory, or else I might lose sight of the fact that I’m getting closer to accomplishing something bigger. And yes, there are days when in order to make myself feel more productive, I will write something down on my checklist that I’ve already done, just so that I can check it off. There is no shame in that.

So, whether it’s losing weight, completing tasks, or something else daunting, we have to celebrate the little victories. Slow and steady gets it done. Slow and steady does work. Gotta keep that in mind, even when it might be tough to do.

Well, Happy Friday. Happy April Fools Day! Today’s the day that I’m not the most gullible person in the room, which I usually am.

All for now.

That’s right. I said it. I’m a LOSER. A loser of WEIGHT, that is.

In getting back to my old blogging habits, I try to write about things that are on my mind, things that I’m working on, things that I’m going through at this particular moment, etc… because A) It helps me to organize my thoughts, B) If I’m struggling with something, it helps me to work through it, and C) There’s a part of me that hopes someone else who just so happens to come across this little blog can identify with whatever I’m writing about and learn something / gain something / or even add their own two cents in the comments.

before the Shamrock N' Run 5K in Feb. 2011

My weight has always been something that I have struggled with and been self-conscious about. Do I think I’m fat? No. Do I wish I were a size 6? Yes. I’m short, I have wide hips, and those (infamous?) genetic “Buckley Buns”. I have been a size 10 since high school – again, it’s those darned hips of mine. I digress.

Over the last few years, I’ve found myself in this new era of “Molly wanting to get healthy and exercise.” I was never a runner – in fact, I was a terrible runner, sort of still am. But I set out to become a runner, and I’ve half-way accomplished that. I ran the Tar Heel 10-miler for my first race, the New Jersey Long Branch Half-Marathon, and a couple of 5Ks posting relatively okay times. I’m not ever going to be the speediest, but trust me, if I can run, so can you. I’m signed up to run the Tar Heel 10-miler again this year, but right now a bit of a knee injury is standing in my way. GAH. Again, I digress.

I started running to accomplish a goal, but mostly I hoped that running would help me shed those pounds I have so desperately wanted to lose. There was a point last year in which I was running 20-30 miles a week, yet I wasn’t losing weight. I was feeling better, but I hated what the scale said. Then I got injured and stopped running. Working at a desk all day doesn’t really allow for much exercise and frankly, I hate scales, so I stopped weighing myself. To be completely honest, I noticed I had gained weight, but didn’t think much of it.

Then I received my wake-up call. I was hanging out at my friend Laura’s house one night right after the 1st of the year. Went to the bathroom and noticed she had a scale in her bathroom – so I thought, hmm, I wonder… I got on the scale and saw a number I never in a million years would have thought I would see. [Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not going to tell you what that number was. It was that bad.]

I immediately knew that I had to get my act together.

Rejoined the YMCA the next day and re-evaluated my situation. Where had I gone wrong? What could I do to fix this? This needs to be a lifestyle change, not some fad-New-Years-Resolution.

Since then, I have been working out 6, sometimes 7 days a week, I quit drinking Diet Coke (which is HUGE for me, if you know me at all), and stopped eating after 8pm (with a few exceptions here or there). I’m not on a “diet.” I’m simply more aware of what I’m putting into my body. Since January, I have lost 16.2 pounds total. I had actually lost closer to 17/18 but I’ve hit that dreaded plateau period right now. I still have at least another 10-15 pounds to go to get to a place I’d be comfortable with, but I’d really like to lose another 15-20.

I have a couple things to thank for my progress so far. One, my BF . He’s such a workout fiend that it’s been nice to have him to motivate me to go to the gym. On days he doesn’t want to go to the gym, I do, so I make him. On days I don’t want to go to the gym, he does, so he makes me. We don’t really workout together, but to have someone else there to keep you honest really helps. I can’t emphasize that enough.

This is my calorie intake for the last week.

The other is LoseIt.com. I actually had discovered the iPhone App FIRST before I discovered the website. I can’t speak highly enough about it. It’s a FREE app, and 100% worth it. Don’t worry, if you don’t have an iPhone, you can sign up for free on their website, too. I’ll be honest, it takes a few days of getting into the habit of using it, but once you get comfortable, that’s exactly what it becomes: habit. Basically it’s a place to fill in all of your “vitals” and set up your goals and weight loss plan – it then gives you the tools and resources you need. You log all of your food and exercise and it calculates your daily calories. It even has restaurants and supermarket food loaded in there for you to search – and yes, it even has Chipotle. You’d be surprised as to how many calories some things are.

I haven’t stopped eating things I love, I’ve just learned that it’s all about balance and moderation. Plus, I get a free pass with fruits and veggies – those calories don’t count. I mean, who ever got fat from eating too many tomatoes or too many celery sticks? NO ONE. Anywho, If I go over my calorie intake one day, then I make sure I’m under the next. (It also factors in your exercise as negative calories).

The LoseIt.com website also has message boards / forums where you can make friends and get advice on recipes, exercises, and general weight loss. The people on there are super supportive and really help you along the way.

I know, I’ve entered my own nerdy weight loss world, but it’s okay. This is the exact type of thing someone like myself needs. OH, and you can even set up motivators to remind yourself throughout the day to log your food.

Anyway, I share all of this extremely personal stuff because I know that this isn’t something only I struggle with. I’m really not in this for the temporary, drop 10 pounds gain back 30 deal… I really want to finally achieve that goal I have so longed for. I’ve accepted that I’m never going to be a size 6 and look like Heidi Klum, but I know that I can feel better about the way that I look.

I will be blogging periodically about my progress – mainly for the purposes of keeping myself honest. But will you guys help to keep me honest? I do have to say, seeing that line go down makes me very happy…

my LoseIt.com weight chart where I can track my progress

Also, if any of you out there have gone through / are going through / thinking about going through something similar, I’d love some advice. I’d love to hear your struggles, challenges, and triumphs. Share your stories. Share your tips.

Love you guys.

All for now.

We all work.

Although “work” isn’t so easily defined for all of us. For some of us, “work” is what pays the bills. Going to the gym is “working” out. To others, volunteering is “work.” It’s all work – in some way or another.

Sure, we all “work” for someone. Unless you are one of the lucky people who have no one to answer to but yourself, either because you’re a loner or because you’re a billionaire, you “work” for someone.

But my question to you goes deeper than a boss / authority figure: WHO do YOU work for?

You don’t make money for your boss, you make money for yourself or a family you’re supporting. But in the end, are you happy with the “work” you’re doing? Are you really working for the money, are you working for the boss, are you working for your family, or are you working for yourself? Is the paycheck the most important thing?

The reason I pose this question is because it is a question that I, myself, have posed a lot recently… to, well, myself. I don’t make a lot of money and I work a lot. But what is my end goal? Do I have a plan? Do I have a vision? The things that I do outside of my 9-5 job, are all those activities (other involvement) considered, work? Do I see the hard “work” I put into those things as valuable? Of course. Because I don’t get paid to run. I don’t get paid to do improv. I do those things for myself.

Even if you spend 80 hours a week at the office, or you work 100 hours a week at 3 jobs, or you are lucky and you have a very strict 9-5, 40 hour a week gig, it’s important to take a step back from the daily grind and remember who you work for FIRST.

Who’s your number one boss? You. YOU are you’re number one boss. You know when you’re procrastinating, working diligently, improving, accomplishing, goal setting, yada yada yada. You know YOU better than anyone… which that should go without saying.

I know I need a reminder every once in a while. So, I thought, maybe if I wrote it down and reminded myself, in turn, I’d help to remind other people. You work for yourself first, because if you’re your own number one employee, it will show in everything else you do.

I work really hard. Always have.

That medal was my running paycheck. I earned it.

But particularly, I’ve worked really hard for six months on a “side-project”, and this past Sunday was my mid-year evaluation. I ran my first ever half-marathon. 13.1 miles. The Long Branch, New Jersey half-marathon. And the only one boss that could judge my performance? Me.

It was, by far, the most difficult thing I have ever done. Not only was it 13.1 miles, but it was 93 degrees, no shade, no breeze (for at least 10.5 of the 13.1 miles), high pollen count, etc. etc… By mile 2 I wanted to quit – and I knew I had a long way to go.

My goal was a finishing time of 2 hours and 30 minutes. I ended up finishing in 2 hours and 56 minutes. Was I disappointed?Sure. But was I proud of myself? Absolutely. For the last six months I have trained and prepared 100% on my own. No one else made me get up in the morning and run 5 miles, no one else told me I had to run after working at 15 hour day… I told myself. I did the work.

My friend Colette and my friend Greg were my mentors – talking me through the bad runs, the good runs, and the prep. But in the end, my legs did the running.

And yeah, I’ll admit it, mile 9 of 13.1, I cried. Straight up. No lies. I didn’t know if I could finish or not. As I watched people passing out beside me, and people throwing up from heat exhaustion, I had to have the conversation with myself, did I want to pass out or did I want to finish? I chose the later.

In running, in comedy, in life, I am my own boss. If I am proud of the work I do, the people I literally work for will feel the same way.

Who do YOU work for?

Word.

I’m going to try and keep this post as short and concise as possible, because there is a lot of information to update you on. But, because I enjoy writing, am long-winded, and digress excessively, that may not happen. Oh well. I do what I want, yo.

colette and i after the race with our medals!

oh wow. I ran the TarHeel 10 Miler.

And I finished it. And I didn’t come in last place! This wasn’t just a big deal for me, in the immortal words of our beloved Vice President of the United States, “It was a big f*****g deal.”

I went from being a horrible runner who would pass out after trying to run a half a mile to finishing and SPRINTING THE FINISH LINE of a 10-mile race. My first race, no less. It was hard. Definitely. I ran with one of my best friends (and FEMMEBOIS comedy partner) Colette, and I don’t think I could have done it without her. We really motivated each other, and when mile 8 on the Laurel Hill challenge came, she kept yelling, “KEEP RUNNING, MOLLY! You can do it!” All while my leg muscles were burning hotter than Justin Timberlake’s dance moves.

The two best parts of the race? Seeing the amazing DSI Comedy people cheer us on at the 6.5 and 9 mile water stops and sprinting the finish line in Kenan Stadium. Sprinting that last 1/4 mile stretch around the track in Kenan was so exhilarating. When we finally crossed the finish line, my adrenaline was pumping so hard that I just started to cry. I couldn’t believe it.

Regardless, in 8 days, I will run my first half-marathon, and only my (now) second race ever. I’m working with a bit of a knee and foot injury, but I know I can do it. 8 days. 8 days. 8 days.

In Memory Day

Some of you saw that I tweeted about having the opportunity to speak at the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial Foundation event In Memory Day in Washington D.C. Well, I spoke. I was (surprisingly) able to get off work for the weekend and take Monday off. I drove up to Herndon, Va (the town where I was born and raised) and spent Saturday with my best friend, Bec, before she left Sunday for Colorado. Spent some much needed quality time with my Dad, my friend Katie, and even got to see a friend and sorority sister of mine, Caroline. And yes, we ate at the Tortilla Factory in case you weren’t wondering.

I’ve written about my mom a lot more lately. A lot more than I ever have or used to, so I won’t go into the details of her story, her life, etc. Basically, In Memory Day is a ceremony that takes place at the wall in honor of those who served in the Vietnam War and died because of their service but do not qualify to have their names inscribed on the wall.

My mom was honored in 2004 and 2009. My dad spoke in my place in 2004 because I was in college. This year, I was given the opportunity to speak. I did it because it was important for me to spend that time with my dad, be able to talk about my mom, and hopefully keep her story going – because it’s one that should no soon be forgotten.

Well, footage of my speech is available online. You can see the ceremony in it’s entirety here with my speech beginning at approximately 26:45.

Senator Lisa Murkowski and I at In Memory Day

I was honored to be able to be a part of such an important day.

And last but certainly not least, the girl with 4 jobs, as of Monday, April 26th, will now have ONE.

You read it right. As of Monday, April 26th, I will be a full time employee of 1360 WCHL. A lot has happened in the last few months, and I’ve worked really, really, REALLY hard. Also, I’m really, really, REALLY burnt out. I sort of had a breaking point a couple weeks ago and realized I couldn’t keep working at the pace I’m currently working. No days off. 13, 14, sometimes 16 hour work days. No free time.

It seemed like so many things kept happening and finally I broke. It happens to everyone. Conveniently, at the time I figured out I couldn’t work this many jobs anymore, my part-time job at the radio station offered me a full-time position. Over the last four months at the station, I took the part-time position I was given, and treated it like a full-time position – giving it exactly what it deserves, going above and beyond my job description, and showing the station why I am an asset to the team. And finally, it paid off. And I couldn’t be more excited.

I will continue in my role as Sales and Marketing Coordinator, but I will also be expanding my role into commercial writing, editing, and production along with station promotions and initiatives. I’m taking the things I love to do, write, edit, create, and market, and I’m applying them to my job. I’m pumped.

Money is still tight, really tight, and I’ll have some serious budget re-working to do, but I’m excited to get somewhat of a life back and love going to work every day.

++++

I’ve learned a lot over the last few months and I know I have a lot more to learn. There’s some big stuff coming my way. I know it. I can feel it.

In the end, it’s all going to be okay.

I want to know, what have YOU learned so far this year?

Word.

ps: see? told you I couldn’t keep this ish short.

Sometimes “It” hurts.

“It” can be anything. Life, work, relationships, school, writing, walking, talking, and even running. It doesn’t matter how long or how hard you’ve trained. Or how much you’ve prepared yourself for “It.” Sometimes, “It” just hurts.

I’ve been training since November for these races. I ran 8.2 miles on Saturday. Today, I tried go out and run 4, and could only run 2. My feet and my knees were killing me. Like, to the point where all I could focus on was the pain each time a foot hit the pavement. I kept trying to run through it, but it just hurt worse.

So, much to my dismay, I turned around, and I ran back home. I even had to walk part of the way. And I felt this deep sense of personal shame. This is what I said to myself:

“WTF, Molly? You ran 8 miles on Saturday and you can’t even do this? How are you, in 4 days, going to run TEN MILES?”

Then the other part of me said:

“Hey, sh*t happens, and tomorrow I’m going to wake up early. I hate waking up early, but I’m going to wake up early, I’m going to pop a couple of Aleve, and run. And then rest. And then go to work with a smile on my face. And work and do bits all day. Then, on Saturday, I’m going to get up at 5:30 in the morning, I’m going to put on my shoes, and I’m going to run 10 miles. My knees, my feet, my confidence, they’ll be fine.”

Because sometimes when “It” hurts [whatever "it" is] you just have to push through “it” and keep “running.”  Because there is no better feeling in the world than crossing the finish line when you know how hard you’ve worked to get there.

Am I right?

Word.

So, back in November, I wrote about how building a business is like training for a marathon. That’s when I started training. Before November, the longest consecutive, actual, RUN I had ever done was maybe 1.5 miles. Maybe 3 miles with a lot of walking in there.

Today, at 10:47AM I completed an 8.2 mile run. And it felt amazing. In hopes this doesn’t confuse you, I am NOT a runner, who is currently running.

Part of the gorgeous view on my run today

Why?

Well, a lot of reasons, really. But here’s my story…

My entire life the only sport I have ever really been good at is golf. I’ve played golf since I could walk pretty much, played competitively in late elementary school through high school and then stopped when I went to college, mainly because I was burnt out. Now I can just enjoy it. However, I’m not saying that golf doesn’t require any sort of athleticism, because it does. You try walking 18 holes of golf when its 100 degrees out carrying an 80+ pound bag on your back. Trust me, you’ll sweat. But golf never required running.

I did play softball for a while and was pretty good at it, but could never make the high school team. Why? Because I couldn’t run the mile. I wanted to, but I would pass out half way through.

Growing up I had reactive airway disease. It’s basically an exaggerated form of asthma that can be brought on by a lot of things… running especially. I also have flat feet and was pigeon toed for the first 14 years of my life. Boo! So, needless to say, running in orthotics that were trying to straighten my feet out was pretty difficult. Oh, And I have scoliosis (still do), so running aggravated my back (it seems to be helping it now!). I’m not trying to give you my entire medical history, I’m just putting all of this in context for you.

Well, with all those things combined, yours truly was never a runner. I went through college, running very, very little. I would do the elliptical at the gym, but that was it. After college, same thing.

I will tell you that in the three years I’ve been out of college, my life has changed dramatically.

And then November of 2009 came. I was unemployed, broke, living in a new state, not a lot of friends, and my personal relationships began to suffer. So, I needed to do something different.

My cousins (who live all over the country) and I were talking and we decided that we were going to run a half-marathon together as a family. This was something that I thought to myself, there is NO way that I’m going to be able to do this. Then I stepped back, looked at myself and said, no, F THAT. I can totally do this. I’ve always been able to do whatever I have set my mind to. I’m exactly like my mother, if I am determined enough, I can seriously do anything.

So, I found a training program and I started. I trained hard through November and December. Got REALLY sick and had to take two weeks off. Trained hard in January and the first part of February, tore six tendons in my foot, had to take two weeks off. Then had to self-motivate to get myself back up into training mode.

Three weeks ago I realized, holy crap, I’m signed up to run the Tarheel 10 Miler on April 10th. I kicked into high gear. Before this morning, my longest consecutive run (without stopping) was six miles. I did a short run yesterday and my knees were killing me. But I said, NO knees! I am going to run 8 miles today whether you like it or not.

So, early this morning, I got up, took some calcium and advil, drank some water, mapped my route, and started running. And it was actually amazing. There were a couple hills that wanted to kick my ass along the way, but I conquered them. I ran through a beautiful part of UNC campus and Chapel Hill and just admired the flowers on the trees. The breeze was blowing, the air was still in that morning cool, and Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” started playing from my playlist. Cliche, yes, but that song is awesome to run to.

All in all, it was hard, but even when I was finished, I probably could have kept going if I wanted to. I only stopped twice to get a drink of water (free water cup in Subway, FTW!), but then I kept right back running.

What does all this really mean? Right now, life is stressful. I’m working all the time, my feet hurt, I’m single, I’m broke, and I wrecked my car on Tuesday. But I feel great. When I cross the finish line next Saturday, April 10th, at the Tarheel 10 Miler, I might cry. Who knows? Then, on Sunday, May 2nd, I will run 13.1 miles in the New Jersey, Long Branch Half Marathon with my family. This is something I really never thought I could ever do. Hell, I used to get made fun of all the time as a kid for not being able to run the mile in gym class because I’d have to stop after a lap to take a few puffs from my inhaler.

I’m running these races because I can, and I never thought I could.

Although the last few months have been emotionally taxing, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve grown closer to some of my friends, I’ve made new ones, and I’m learning more about myself as a determined young woman.

As my mom always used to say, “Hey muffin, this, too, shall pass.” Thanks mom, always lookin’ out. These ones are for you.

Word.