I’ve been back in Richmond only 8 hours and it’s been a BLAST so far. I performed with my improv group Made of BEES (@madeofBEES). It was amazing. Nothing is better than performing on stage with your BEST friends.

Here’s a great clip from our show. (Thanks, @zachward for putting it up so quickly!) It MIGHT just scare the pants off of you. Enjoy!

All for now.

In case you weren’t aware, already… I am on the awesome rockstar writing team for a show called DSI Witness News out of the DSI Comedy Theater in Carrboro, NC. We write news parody, headlines, and character pieces. We do a once a month live show in a similar format to Weekend Update and we write for a 5 minute news segment MONDAY – FRIDAY on local radio station WCHL 1360AM, Chapel Hill-Carrboro’s News, Talk, and Tarheels station. DSI Witness News is ON AIR every morning at 8:20AM and every afternoon at 5:55PM.

We write hyper-local news, but we love tying in national headlines and national figures. I had so much fun with this morning’s episode that I wanted to share it on my own blog and do a plug for DSIWN, too!

Today’s episode featured endorsements for the Chapel Hill Mayoral election with Sarah Palin (me), Aurora Joplin (me), and Bill Strom (Kit FitzSimons). It was awesome. Check out the episode here.

Awesome. You can subscribe to the DSI Witness News podcast on iTunes – just search: DSI COMEDY and click subscribe!

You can also FOLLOW us on Twitter: @DSIWN. Don’t live in Chapel Hill/Carrboro? We also stream online… listen here: http://wchl1360.com/live_streaming.html. Now there’s no excuse not to listen and laugh! Thanks for supporting DSI Witness News. Thanks for supporting local comedy.

All for now.

So, I had the awesome opportunity to guest anchor on the WCHL1360 DSI Witness News morning show last week. The clips are up and I thought I would share them with you. As always, check out DSI Comedy and DSI Witness News Monday-Friday at 8:20am on WCHL 1360. (Or visit DSIcomedy.com) Enjoy!

• Monday, June 22, 2009 (Guest Anchoring)
• Tuesday, June 23, 2009 (BABE the Pig)
• Wednesday, June 24, 2009 (Guest Anchoring)
• Friday, June 26, 2009 (Guest Anchoring)
• Monday, July 6, 2009 (Guest Anchoring)
• Tuesday, July 7, 2009 (SARAH PALIN Runs for Chapel Hill Mayor)

Sarah Palin hosts political events, too!

Yep. Forget the FACTS is back with another awesome episode bringing YOU opinions and bits, NOT facts. Check it out.

If you like it, tell everyone. If you don’t, tell them anyway.

Yep, the car has been cleaned, my bags are packed, and we are ready to HIT THE ROAD TO NORTH CAROLINA for the comedy festival! WOOP! I should probably put gas in my car though before I leave…

I will be posting from the festival with updates, so keep checking back!

All for now.

2009. WOW. I think 2009 is, so far, promising to be an innovative year. With the inauguration of the first African-American president, the rise and fall of gas prices, citizens becoming more fiscally responsible, the conversion to all-digital television, and with the invention of the new Chipotle iPhone application, Americans are constantly thinking FORWARD. How can we work together to IMPROVE our lives? How can we improve the lives of others? Ah, it really makes one feel all warm and gooey inside. [It also makes me wanna snack on an orange glazed cinnamon roll].

Truthfully, it is my feeling that the best way to find out what people are thinking is to survey them. Right? Well, I guess that all depends on WHAT you are surveying and whether or not that survey is worth my time, your time, our time, time in general.

WELL, according to a recent survey, Sarah Palin was considered to be the most desired person Americans would want to live next door to. (Side NOTE: REALLY? You mean to tell me that money was actually put into the campaign of surveying people about this ridiculous question. WHO CARES? Seriously. Is this on the for realz?) Back to the subject at hand. Honestly, I think these results are interesting. Sure, she’s “cute,” “charming,” and “pitbull-like,” but let us consider for a moment what it would REALLY be like to have Sarah Palin as your neighbor.

She's not crazy, she's a maverick!

(These are not ranked in any sort of particular order. It’s simply a list of things I think might happen.) 

1. Hockey parties. Who doesn’t love a night over at the Palin’s with her Todd in the kitchen making stir fry and the rugrats running around the house while Piper judges them. Meanwhile, the neighbs are sitting in the family room discussing the Canes and how they are just like the Mighty Ducks. Be cautious however about getting too excited, you never know when someone might go into labor. 

2. Fresh bull. This is sort of a double entendre, if you will. Sare (my new nickname for Madame Palin) will not only grill the fresh bull/moose/bison/porpous etc. that she shot that day, but she will also dish out fresh bull…sh*t. You know, buttering you up. Like how she ate that entire fruitcake you made her when she moved onto your street. How she got her new suit at the local thrift store. That new haircut you got, just FABULOUS *wink*. Oh, and she can’t see you changing in your bedroom from her living room. We know this is a lie, because Sare sees all. She is the all-seeing and omniscient Sare. 

3. Innovative nicknames. The fact that she named her own kids names such as Trig, Track, Willow, Lawn, etc… we know she will absolutely be innovative in her naming of you and yours. 

++++

Well, no matter what, you know Sare would be a loyal neighbor. Always participating in neighborhood watch meetings, block parties, and social gatherings. And let’s be honest, she’d be a better gubernatorial neighbor than Mr. Rod Blagojevich.

All for now.

It’s back. The blog, that is. Except, she (yes, my blog is a lady) is revamped. She’s brand new. Like a shiny penny or something. It’s 2009 and I’ve decided that it’s about time I upped the ante. Ya heard? Keep checking back here for updates and changes.

I’m going to go ahead and admit right now that I have an internet and social networking addiction. Facebook, Twitter, and my new discovery: TUMBLR. Tumblr is awesome. I’m new to it, so bear with me. 

I wanted to start off the new year with some new bits. Palin bits, that is. (That sort of sounds dirty. No?) Ah, innuendo. So here we go with the first Sarah Palin bit of the year. 

All for now.