Disclaimer: this blog post may be a stream of consciousness… be aware, tangents may ensue.

SCENE: Right now, it’s 68 degrees, there’s a slight breeze, I’m sitting out on my patio, writing, I have a Magic Hat Circus Boy in hand [in a Christopher Newport University alumni coozie], my dog is sleeping at my feet, and I’m listening to a mix tape I found that I had made in the summer of 1993. Yes, an actual cassette tape with songs recorded from the radio. [WPGC 95.5 and 93.9 WKYS, FTW!]

Thumbs up for painted Elvi

I worked for 14 hours straight today, yet I’m totally relaxed. This is the first time this has happened in easily, uhh, a while. For those of you that know me, those of you that don’t, and those of you who just read this blog, you may or may not know that a lot has changed in the past year. A lot. Some good, some bad, some happy, some sad, but needless to say, I’m a stronger person now than I was 365 days ago.

And the truth is, I’ve been incredibly stressed lately. Like, I honestly think the last time I felt this much stress for this amount of time, was my senior year of college when I was going through all that stuff. (Not going to rehash it all… I’ll simply link to the blog post where I discuss it.) Loss of sleep, migraines, back pain, the works – I’m going through it all right now. I’m not complaining by any means – life is a “rollercoaster” (or some shitty cliche like that) – and good and bad happens. It’s how you deal and how you handle it that matters.

So, to not digress any further than I already have, and in this solitary moment of relaxation I seem to have found, I wanted to “Yes, And!” the awesome day I’ve had and list the things that for realsies make me swoon (i.e. things I lurve):

• Spending time with my family
• A Diet Coke from the soda fountain
• Crushed ice
• Chipotle burritos
• Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds LIVE recordings
• Writing
• A really good laugh
• Romantic comedies
• LOST
• 24
• A really good heart-to-heart with someone
• The way my dog licks my face in the morning to wake me up (even though her breath STINKS)
• Even though I hate running, the way I feel after a long run
• Naps
• Walking on the beach holding my flip flops in my left hand
• Comedy bits
• New York City
• Getting flowers when I least expect it
• Spending time with my best friends in the whole wide world and giggling for hours
• The feeling I get when I’ve just played in an amazing improv set (it’s like no other feeling in the world)
• Sleeping with my window open and waking up a little bit cold so I have to put another blanket on
• Watching old home videos or looking at old pictures
• Googling my mom and reading old pieces of her writing or news articles about her and remembering her for just 5 minutes
• Telling “you had to be there” stories
• Holding an impromptu dance party… anywhere
• Taking a longer than necessary shower
• Using a brand new toothbrush or brand new tube of toothpaste
• The way a brand new magazine/book smells
• Karaoke
• Sitting outside at night and staring up at the moon
• Pool parties!
• Being Frattastic… super frattastic
• Football season (even though the Browns always suck)
• First dates
• First kisses
• Making new friends or rekindling an old friendship
• Teaching myself something new
• Trying something I’ve always been terrified of
• Hearing the words “You’re beautiful”
• Vacations
• BLASTING my music in the car and not caring that the other cars are staring at me
• Cracking myself up over dumb jokes
• Talking to my sister, Bridgid, who is quite possibly the strongest person I know – I don’t know what I would do without her
• Laughing with my dad and calling him just because I need to talk to my daddy
• Never being too old to call your dad, daddy
• Never being too old to laugh at a good fart joke
• Never being too old to swing on a swing set
• Getting awesome and being myself no matter what

I’m sure there are more. But I’ll stop there.

I want to know, what makes YOU swoon? By the way, have I told you today that YOU, are awesome? Because you are.

Word.

Yes, it’s 2:30 in the morning and I’m still awake. I took a nap today for the first time in easily six months – and now I’m paying for it because I am WIDE awake. This afternoon I was leaving one job and heading to another and realized that if I didn’t take a nap, I would probably pass out en route.

If it’s 2:30AM and I’m still awake, I do a couple of things:

1. Watch SNL digital shorts
2. Watch old TED talks
3. Clean

I am doing the 2nd of the three. And although I have seen this particular TED talk a gazillion times, I learn to appreciate it more each time I rewatch it.

I love J.J Abrams for two reasons:

1. He gave me the show LOST
2. He’s brilliant

AND this particular quote from his talk is my biggest takeaway:

“No community is best served when only the elite have control.”

I think it’s such a simple yet profound statement, thought, idea. There’s all this talk of “community” going on – whether it be in technology, improv, the town you live in, your country, whatever. Yet, do all of us actively participate in our own communities? Whatever community that may be. Are you an active or passive member of your community(ies)? Do you complain when things don’t go your way or do you work to change them?

People are put in charge for a reason, yes. But for the most part, they are put in charge by the people who, well, put them there – i.e. the members of the community they serve. (Does that even make sense? It makes sense to me, but it is now 2:40AM, so it could be Esperanto for all I know).

There’s nothing that irks me more than people who sit back, are so cavalier and laissez faire about everything, and then when things aren’t exactly the way they want them to be, all they do is whine. You don’t like your situation? You don’t like things the way they are going? Change it. Work harder. Engage with passion in your own life.

QUESTION(S): Thoughts? What does Abrams’ statement say to you? What does it make you think of? I want to know.

By the way, I’m hungry.

Word.

No excuses, but life has gotten in the way and my blog has suffered because of it. Ugh. Worst. BUT, as good ol’ Bobby Dylan once put it, “The Times They Are a-Changin’.”

Now, to the point at hand: Authenticity.

It’s a topic I’ve touched on, well, a few times. But it seems as though lately, a series of events, conversations, and life en general have further solidified my feelings on the subject. So, in summary, when it comes to authenticity:

Be who you are and rock the heck out of it.

Stop letting other people dictate what you should do, how you should dress, and what you should say. When it comes to applying for a job, throw the conventions of what you’re “supposed” to do out the window. Do what you know you should do (*within reason of course). If it’s been six months of looking for a job, and you still don’t have a job, change your way of thinking. Shift your priorities. Stop spending 119210928 hours in front of your computer applying for jobs online and get out there and use the people who know and love you. It’s not using them and abusing them, it’s taking your most natural resources that you have access to and being a genuine networking pimp.

Your friends, former co-workers, professors, and the like know you better than anyone. Ask if they know someone? Make that call. Make that connection. Go to another event and be awesome. Be memorable. Stop whining.

And when it’s not a job, but when it comes to life, just be yourself. I know it sounds trite, but I feel like the interwebs, and tv, and the opposite sex, and the same sex are all pressuring us to be/act/behave/talk/walk/sneeze a certain way. Stop pleasing other people. You can’t make other people happy until you, yourself, are happy.

Case in point – someone once told me my laugh was too loud. [SCREEEEEEECH] Guess what? I immediately shut down, became self conscious, and had a mini-identity crisis. Then I realized, that person sucks and needs to lighten up. Sure, I laugh loudly. Who cares? My dad has a loud laugh, my mom had a loud laugh, my sister has a loud laugh, and my family is happy and we love each other unconditionally and dinners (when we see each other) are hilarious.

Lighten up. Be yourself. And I guarantee, things will start happening for you. Whatever it is you want from life (relationships, dreams, jobs, money, whatever), it will come once you throw away the conventions and notions of what you THINK other people want to see, and you start being yourself and doing what you know to be true.

In my short 24 and a half years of life I’ve learned the following:

1. Laugh a lot.
2. Laugh loudly.
3. Work your butt off.
4. Laugh some more.
5. Work harder.
6. Love your friends.
7. Love your family.
8. Love unconditionally.
9. Work even harder.
10. Relax and don’t take it too seriously.

What do you think? Am I full of it? If so, tell me.

*All rules of authenticity are moot when general self-respect, decency, and not making a damn fool of yourself come into play.

Oh, two weeks ago I met the man with the world’s most contagious laugh. He exists. Thus, here’s proof that I, too, love to laugh:

Word.

I know, I know. I’ve told you guys a gazillion times now that I’m working my ass off. Sorry to belabor (is that the right word here?) the point, but I have some advice for anyone who wants to listen… or read.

Even my change is important.

READ: These are simply some frustrations of mine and in no way aimed at anyone in particular. It’s more of a venting tool for me. Take it for what you will, take it for comedy, I’m not being condescending, but I am being serious.

Job 1: Art Gallery Retail Job

1. Please do not haggle me (or anyone) on the price of a retail item. Look, I am not the owner, nor the manufacturer of the item you want. I did not price it at $49.99. No, you can’t buy it for $25. Please, don’t get mad at me for charging you the actual price of the item. No, I won’t give you a discount. Is the item broken? Oh, it’s not? Then no, you can’t have it for free. So please don’t make me feel like crap when I charge you full price. You are not buying a car. You’re buying a poster. Buy the damn poster at full price.

Job 2: Retail Clothing Store at the Mall

1. No, we don’t have any “doorbusters.” Does it look like you are shopping at Radio Shack or Sears? No. That sweater you are holding is $278 and is practically made of gold and the hair of angels. We aren’t going to offer it 70% off before 9AM. So shut up.
2. You don’t have your receipt? You don’t have any sort of proof whatsoever that you purchased this item at any time, yet you want a full cash refund when you return it and you’re mad that I’m giving you a refund in store credit? Our store has an awesome return policy and a program in place to make returns super easy for you to return things. For all I know, you could have picked up that item when you walked in and said you bought it but are now trying to return something we already own. No dice, my friend. No dice. Take the store credit and scram.

Job 3: Server (mainly), Food Runner (sometimes), and Hostess (sometimes) at local Pub Restaurant

1. You paid for your meal with a coupon, gift certificate, gift card, or some type of similar voucher? Guess what? You still need to tip me. Just because you only paid $1.27 for a meal that actually cost $51.27 doesn’t mean you get to tip me off the $1.27. Many people don’t know that servers only make $2.13 an hour – and all that money goes to taxes. The only way a server makes his/her living is through tips. So when you only tip me $0.50 (cents) on a meal that should have cost $51.27, that is like $9 that I am losing out on. Oh, and I have to tip out a percentage of that to three different people, so in reality, I only made $0.20 (cents) out of that $0.50 (cents). Does that make sense to you?
2. Servers make $2.13 an hour. I said it before, I’ll say it again. As a server, my largest “paycheck” was $9. Yeah NINE (9) dollars. The $2.13 an hour goes to taxes. That’s it. The only money a server makes it off of tips. Keep that in mind the next time you walk out without tipping, or tip 10%.
3. No, 15% is not a good tip. I know many of you will disagree with this, but if you have EVER waited tables, you know that it is not exactly the easiest job. I have waited tables for 7 years and I can’t tell you how many times I have burnt myself, cut myself, dropped plates on my foot, sprained my ankle, sweated, been cursed at, walked out on, etc. It is a physically and yes, sometimes emotionally taxing job. Sure, some servers suck, but you have no idea what could be going on that day to make them a sh*tty server. Hey, they could be working four jobs. Cut ‘em a break and leave them an extra $2. It won’t hurt you.
4. Yes, sometimes your food taking a long time or coming out wrong IS NOT the server’s fault. Those guys in the kitchen work their butts off – and many times, there are only 3 cooks trying to make food for a completely full restaurant. It’s hard work. I respect the cooks and the dishwashers SO much. I could never do that job. So, if your food takes a couple extra minutes, politely ask your server why, and understand that they might be slammed back there. Unless you have to catch a plane or train out of town, an extra 5-10 minutes isn’t going to kill you.
5. When a food runner is standing at the end of your table calling out the names of the dishes, please wake up and respond. Although I have been working out lately, that tray that is on my arm when I am delivering your food is sometimes REALLY heavy and can be really hot. I can’t stand it when I stand at the end of a table, call our names of dishes, and no one responds. The table just keeps on talking and I called out, “Cheeseburger?” at least 12 times then the guy I am standing right behind says, “Oh woops! That’s me.” I say, “Oh, no problem. I didn’t need the 3 layers of skin that plate just burnt off.” If you see someone standing at your table, answer them. They are not decoration.

Job 4: Sales and Marketing Coordinator at Local Radio Station

NOTE: I haven’t told you guys about this job yet. I am actually really excited about this job. It is a part-time, hourly job, but I am really excited about the opportunities that this job can and will bring me. (More info to come later).

1. If you call a company and the receptionist (me) answers and I’m nice to you, please don’t be mean to me. I have gotten so many calls lately where the people are downright RUDE to me. And when I am pleasant to you and doing my best to answer your question, please be nice to me. Being nice goes a long way.

Okay, I’m done ranting. Well, not ranting, just expressing my thoughts/frustrations/things I have learned.

I want to know, what takeaways do you have? Do you disagree with me on anything? Is there anything you have learned in the workforce that you want people to know?

Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts.

I love you. Yeah, you. Reading this.

Word.

Be jealous: I went to Las Vegas a week and a half ago. 

But even when I am on a short (but awesome) vacay, a part of my brain doesn’t leave work/writing mode. Well, I’m not a gambler and I have much more interest in partaking in spa services than any of the other “activities” that “sin city” has to offer. But the one thing that continually impresses me about Las Vegas is their use of social media and the way they use it to engage residents, visitors, and potential travelers.

Everywhere you go in The Vegas, social media follows. Almost every resort, spa, casino, and store has some sort of “get connected” signage encouraging people to… well, get connected. (Example to the right).

Even a mention of Vegas on Twitter and you’re going to be followed and @replied by a few casinos and/or shows that might want to help you out.

When I checked into Planet Hollywood on @FourSquare (a location-based social media application), a nearby special popped up. Just for checking in on FourSquare, I got a free drink from the bar at KOI, an uber-nice Japanese restaurant inside Planet Hollywood. (Screenshot to the left.)

If you have Vegas-related questions about discount show tickets, hotel reservations, restaurants, whatever, there is going to be someone in the social media space to answer it for you.

I had a huge breakfast mishap the first morning I was there. I tweeted to them about it, I was taken care of, and @PHVegas checked in with me on Twitter about it.

It was nice to know that if I had a problem or a question, there was going to be an answer, in real time, no matter where I was.

Vegas does social media right.

I know Vegas isn’t the ONLY city that uses social media to such heights, but it sure is a great example of how it should be done.

Need more examples? Look at some of the MANY Vegas venues on Twitter:

• @VegasConcierge
• @zappos (BTW: if you ever go to Vegas, DEFINITELY do the Zappos tour. It’s awesome.)
• @LasVegasHilton
• @PHVegas
• @CaesarsPalace
• @PalmsLasVegas
• @PalazzoLasVegas
• @HardRockHotelLV
• @EverythingVegas
• @VegasCom
• @WeddingsLV
• @HootersCasinoLV
• @MyVegasScene
• @Cirque
• @Vegas_Hotel

By using these tools, Las Vegas is able to reach out to an international audience. People come from all corners of the world to The Vegas and Vegas needs a way to connect with those people. And they do.

Question(s): What other cities do you think utilize social media tools as effectively as Las Vegas? Have you have a negative experience with Vegas social media? Do you think they could improve? What do you think engages you the most when a city uses social media? I would love to hear your thoughts and/or other examples.

Word.

I came down with a pretty bad case of the flu this weekend, so my thoughts have been a little more difficult to organize. But as I was lying in bed, drinking 30+ cups of orange juice, and watching yet another Audrey Hepburn movie, my mind wandered to the people in my life. Of course I began thinking about my family and close friends, but then I started thinking about this whole idea of a personal “network.” In my humble opinion, your personal network is really consisted of those meaningful, professional relationships that you have developed in which you can call on those people for references, advice, career opportunities, support, etc.

In the “old days” your personal network was developed solely in person. By attending leads groups, BNI groups, networking events, churches, PTA meetings, school, whathaveyou… for the most part, your network was built by one-on-one, in-person contact – or with a personal introduction from/through someone else.

Now today, with the onslaught of social and online networks (i.e. Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter), the development of a personal network has evolved and how we meet people and foster relationships has completely changed.

Within our social networks, there are those we communicate with often. We know them by name, we comment on their content, we engage on a regular basis. We have developed a working rapport with these people.

Then, in our networks, we have the “lurkers.” The “lurkers” are those whom we are friends with, or follow, or are connected to, that we never, ever, ever, engage with. (I’m 100% guilty of this, too. We all are. So let’s not go pointing fingers.) These are people we ran into or had a brief conversation with way back when, and since then, we have dropped that connection. We don’t chat, talk, or connect at all.

SO, my social media tip of the week this week is: Make Better Connections (and renew old ones).

Find those people that you follow on Twitter, are friends with on Facebook, or are connected to on LinkedIn and spark a conversation with them. Renew that relationship. Make that connection worthwhile. You never know when you might need that person!

And the next time you follow someone, friend someone, or make a connection with someone, make it personal. Find a common interest, share a personal story, ask a question. Whatever! But make it substantial.

Rid your network (and your life) of those “lurkers.” Lurkers are creepy, anyway.

What do you think? Do you think those “lurkers” are always going to be there? Have you found a way to make your network more worthwhile?

Word.

Every one has their own style. No two people are exactly the same. (Except for maybe the Olsen twins. They are eerily similar). There are different styles of writers, bloggers, marketers, advertisers, teachers, bosses, CEO’s, standup comedians, and improvisers.

Sure, to someone who isn’t familiar with the church of Improvisation, it might seem like improv is all the same. It’s a bunch of people on a stage getting strange suggestions and hamming it up to an audience. I assure you, this is not the case… most of the time. Styles of improv even vary from city to city and theater to theater. One theater might support an “organic” style of improv where you start slow and gradually find the crux of the scene, or figure out what the scene is out. Whereas another theater might be all about playing the game of improv – fast-paced, quick edits, an absurd world. and big bold characters. The latter is my world. And I love it. I’ve only been doing improv for a little over three years, but I know what is fun for me and what gets my adrenaline pumping. And that is no nonsense, take-your-breath-away improv. But each style is tied together with a few (or single) philosophical or abstract threads – make people laugh… now.

Similarly, in the world of marketing and media, there are completely different styles of how people want to connect and engage with their audience. Some companies are going to be way more in your face with product placement or “YOU MUST BUY/ACT NOW” deals. Others are going to use more passive marketing techniques – warming you up with nice words and pretty images, and THEN proposing their deal. And again, each style is tied together with a single (or few) similar philosophical threads – make money… now.

Whether we are talking about the world of improvisation or the world of marketing, the truth is, the big, bold choices tend to be more successful than the passive, laissez-faire, approaches. If I want into an improv scene hesitant, coy, and non-chalant, the audience is going to not trust me and check-out pretty quickly. But if I walk into that scene playing to the top of my intelligence, making a bold, strong choice, the audience is immediately going to be engaged with everything that I am doing.

If you try to market your brand, your idea, or your business by just resting on your laurels, you are bound to fail… eventually. But if you make a strong, bold, choice – differentiating your brand within your niche, making it stand out, and engaging with your audience, you have immediately set yourself up to succeed.

When I perform, I want to make people laugh. I’m not going to do that by just standing off to the side letting things “happen.” I make them happen. I play the game. I go in strong.

When you own a business or you are promoting a brand, ultimately it’s about money and recognition. Make things happen. Play the game. Go in strong.

Question: What experiences have YOU had with a successful brand? How were they successful? How did they engage you? How did they stand out? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts?

Word.

photo credit: peterastn

These people are awesome and I am sorry that I haven’t given them a shoutout sooner. They are rockstars in my eyes and you should totally check them out. Not in that way, well, maybe in that way. If you want it to be in that way. I’m sure some of these people are single and could use a good checking out. Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I’m going to move on from this point and get to the #FollowFridaying. (By the way, that is totally a verb).

@jakrose: Bio: Where we’re going, we don’t need roads… - Website: http://jasonkeath.com/

Jason Keath is such a rockstar that the level of his rockstarness should almost be illegal. He is a social media man, entrepreneur, community engager, blogger, speaker, and creator of SOCIAL FRESH (http://socialfresh.com/). Social Fresh (and Jason) brings amazing speakers, facilitates incredible conversations, and gets people together to collaborate and learn from each other. His content is solid and consistent. Oh, and he works his butt off.

*

@sarkatbur: Bio: My joys of southern living as a PR/marketing professional include family, friends, music, laughter, fashion, sports and a black lab. - Website: http://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahburris

I first met Sarah Burris at a #TLWT (Triangle Ladies Who Tweetup) and she was such a great person to talk to. I didn’t know very many people when I first arrived and she immediately started talking to me and we got along really well. Since then I have been following her on Twitter and she is one of the most engaged people I follow. She retweets awesome content, is a conversationalist, engages in the space, and creates great stuff of her own. She adds a personal touch to everything which I think is awesome.

*

@ElizabethPW: Bio: Elizabeth Potts Weinstein: Speaker of Truth. Lover of Passion. Video Blogging Addict. Tweetup Connoisseur. People Loving Introvert. Truth Evangelist. – Website: http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com/

This woman is easily one of the most inspirational women on Twitter (and, arguably, in the social media space). I read her blog regularly and she is no bullsh*t, in your face, honest, and transparent (even when she doesn’t want to be). She video blogs, she writes, she inspires. This woman rocks and I really hope to meet her someday.

*

Tell me: Who are YOU #FollowFriday’ing this week?

Word.

Sometimes we forget the correct etiquette and proper manners for Facebook usage. In case you HAVE, in fact, forgotten the rules, here is a short 1950′s-esque video to remind you. Enjoy. (I wish I could do my hair like Alice…)

If you can’t see the video, click here.

Creepy phisherman.

My social media tip of the week this week SHOULD be common sense, but apparently, and alas, for some people, it is not.

STOP CLICKING THAT LINK!

You know the link I’m talking about. The link in your Facebook inbox, the tagged photo meme, your Twitter DM’s, etcetera, etcetera…

Here are some examples of what I am referring to and these are cut and paste DIRECTLY from my Twitter and Facebook inboxes (No worries, I have broken the links so that they don’t infect you):

• Hey, I just added you to my Mafia family. You should accept my invitation! Click here:http://www.playmobsterworld.com/?refuid=32617401&source=friends_
• We Only Have Space for 1000 Participants and Each Week We Are At Full Capacity So Don’t Delay and Register Right NOW! http://bit.ly/27vX3V
• If Guy likes it, I will try it! RT @Guykawasaki I just tried this service… and it works! http://bit.ly/315yHe
• Thanks for following me. Start making more money in 15 minutes: http://bit.ly/19nQze
• “Hi, this you on here?”
• “Your friend’s booty looks gooood in this video.”
• “I found your old pictures from high school!”

No, you’re booty doesn’t look good in that video. No, your friend did NOT find your pictures from high school. And if they did, they wouldn’t just DM you a creepy link. These are what is known as PHISHING scams. No, not ploys to get you to listen to old Phish albums. Phishing scams are defined as (via Wikipedia):

In the field of computer security, phishing is the criminally fraudulent process of attempting to acquire sensitive information such as usernames, passwords and credit card details by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication. Communications purporting to be from popular social web sites, auction sites, online payment processors or IT administrators are commonly used to lure the unsuspecting public. Phishing is typically carried out by e-mail or instant messaging,^[1] and it often directs users to enter details at a fake website whose look and feel are almost identical to the legitimate one.

Essentially, when you click that link that you SHOULD NOT CLICK, a tiny virus gets into your computer system and spreads that virus to all of your contacts (or sends a similar link out to people in your network hoping THEY, too, will click the link). And so on and so forth. That virus can steal ALL of your vital information, logins, usernames, passwords, and even credit card and personal information (like addresses, etc.)

Also, if you get an email or a direct message that asks you to change you password, put in your information, or update something, DON’T DO IT through that link. Some links sent to us look VERY real using real graphics, correct information, etc.

The FIRST thing you should do is manually access the website in question – meaning, click out of whatever window you are in, shut down your browser all the way, open up a new browser window, then type in the web address manually. Once you have accessed the site in question, if you REALLY do need to change something, it should say it when you login legitimately.

Also, the FTC has a great site on ways to protect yourself from confusing phishing scams.

So, EVEN IF you trust the person who has sent you the link, double check with them to make sure it is legit. I question my friends all the time just to be sure.

But seriously, stop clicking that link that says, “ROFL, is this you?! [insert spammy link here].” OF COURSE IT IS NOT YOU. Seriously, people? Who is clicking these links.

So, for the sake of all of us. Stop clicking that phishing link. You know the one I’m talking about.

Question: What examples have YOU seen of “good” phishing scams? And by “good,” I mean, they seem legitimate, but end up getting you. Why do YOU think people are clicking the links? What’s your opinion?

Word.

photo credit: pyromarketing