Once again, I’ve fallen off the updating wagon. Ah, whatever. Who cares?

It’s been a month and a half since my last update. I swear, I’m not some recovering blogger or something… but the past few months have been nuts, and the past month and a half, ah, well, two months, has been even more nuts.

We finally launched Chapelboro.com. I quite literally feel like I birthed an interactive-internet-local-media-website infant baby. Although I have not given actual birth yet, from what I hear, it’s strenuous and painful. You bleed, sweat, and cry a lot. But in the end, you bring something into the world that you are proud of. And those feelings (including the blood, sweat, and OH THE TEARS), are the feelings I’ve had working on this website.

It sounds trivial, but it couldn’t be more true.

I don’t usually like to use the term “proud” because overly prideful people can sometimes be ugly people. Humility is so important. But I am dadblamed proud of that website and what it not only means for the community of Chapel Hill and Carrboro, but what it means to me, personally. It’s almost symbolic of my journey over the last two years that I’ve lived in North Carolina.

When I first started working at 1360 WCHL (Chapel Hill-Carrboro’s News Talk and Tar Heels Station), I had three other jobs. I was working part-time for the radio station and part-time for three other businesses. I was dying in a lot of ways. I worked my tail off. But I took the job at WCHL with the mindset of, work your tail off and show them why they need to hire you full-time.

So, I worked my tail off. I worked WAY more hours than I was actually paid for and I took the job and made it my own. And in a matter of a little over two and a half months, my boss approached me and offered me a full-time job working for the station. I could finally quit my other jobs.

So, I took the full-time job. The salary wasn’t great, it was going to be tough to make ends meet and I wasn’t going to be eating out or vacationing much, but I had great benefits, a great opportunity, and a full-time job. I took that job with the mindset of, work my tail off and show them why they need to give me a raise and/or promote me.

So, I worked my tail off. I worked WAY too many hours. I learned how to do things outside of my actual job description. And I gained a ton of invaluable knowledge and experience. And, 7 months later, I got a promotion. I was promoted to “Duchess of Digital Media” (best job title EVAR) and I was going to be in charge of the launch of Chapelboro.com. The website had been over a year in the making. I sat in on preliminary meetings, consulted on names, logos, taglines, designs, colors, content. You name it.

I have never worked so hard on anything in my entire life. And I’ve worked hard on a lot of things. But I am really proud of what came out. Sure, there’s still some kinks to work out with it. Okay, a lot of kinks. But hey, it’s the nature of the beast.

Again, I don’t write all of this to sound bragadocious (sweet word) or prideful. I write it to share that you can do anything. With the right mindset and the right work ethic, you can do anything.

I’ve learned so much in the past year and a half and I know I have so much more to learn. I am not where I want to be… yet. But now I have the mindset of, work my tail off, learn a lot, and change the world and stuff like that.

I am so blessed and so incredibly grateful. I can’t thank God, my family, and my friends enough for the support I’ve had throughout the last year, two years, seven years, my entire life. When life smacks me in the face, life backhands itself right back and shows me how lucky I am. (Does that even make sense? It does to me.)

I’m tired. I’ve had one day off in two+ months. But I am okay. I’m like my own proverbial Thomas the Tank Engine.

Also, I get to see my best friend, Bec, this weekend. So I have that to look forward to.

And, of course, as my mother used to say, “This, too, shall pass.”

I apologize if this post made absolutely no sense whatsoever. But I miss writing. And I felt like putting my stream of consciousness down on paper.

Also, on another note, I’ve lost 20 pounds so far. BOOM BROADS!

And, yet, another note… I’ve raised half the money I need for my mission trip to Kenya!! Wahoo!!

All for now.

I weighed in this morning and I lost 0.4 pounds bringing my total weight loss since January 4th to 17.6 pounds.

Overall, 17.6 pounds isn’t too shabby. But when you’re working your butt off each and every week sweating, exercising, and eating lots of veggies, it can be frustrating to see only a 0.4 pound loss. Like, that’s not even a half a pound. That’s like 1/3 of a pound? I don’t know, I’m terrible with fractions.

One of the awesome things about the LoseIt app (which I rave about all the time) is the support system that’s on there. I’m “friends” with all of these strangers who are trying to do the same thing I’m doing… lose weight and get healthy… and they are there to celebrate losses and offer advice with gains. When I logged my measly 0.4 weight loss this morning, within 10 minutes I had comments from other LoseIt users saying, “Way to go, Molly!” and “There you go, Molly! That’s great!” and “Yes! You got it!” I mean, 0.4 pounds lost and you’d think I’d run a marathon or something like that.

However, in bringing it all full circle, I know that I have to celebrate the little things. In life, we all have to celebrate the little things. If we don’t, we may lose sight of what we’re doing, or what our goals are, or even, where we’ve been.

When work is stressful, like it’s been for me for oh, the past year and a half, and my to-do list is 12 miles long, I have to celebrate each little task completed (BTW: Remember the Milk = best task app EVAR), each little victory, or else I might lose sight of the fact that I’m getting closer to accomplishing something bigger. And yes, there are days when in order to make myself feel more productive, I will write something down on my checklist that I’ve already done, just so that I can check it off. There is no shame in that.

So, whether it’s losing weight, completing tasks, or something else daunting, we have to celebrate the little victories. Slow and steady gets it done. Slow and steady does work. Gotta keep that in mind, even when it might be tough to do.

Well, Happy Friday. Happy April Fools Day! Today’s the day that I’m not the most gullible person in the room, which I usually am.

All for now.

We all work.

Although “work” isn’t so easily defined for all of us. For some of us, “work” is what pays the bills. Going to the gym is “working” out. To others, volunteering is “work.” It’s all work – in some way or another.

Sure, we all “work” for someone. Unless you are one of the lucky people who have no one to answer to but yourself, either because you’re a loner or because you’re a billionaire, you “work” for someone.

But my question to you goes deeper than a boss / authority figure: WHO do YOU work for?

You don’t make money for your boss, you make money for yourself or a family you’re supporting. But in the end, are you happy with the “work” you’re doing? Are you really working for the money, are you working for the boss, are you working for your family, or are you working for yourself? Is the paycheck the most important thing?

The reason I pose this question is because it is a question that I, myself, have posed a lot recently… to, well, myself. I don’t make a lot of money and I work a lot. But what is my end goal? Do I have a plan? Do I have a vision? The things that I do outside of my 9-5 job, are all those activities (other involvement) considered, work? Do I see the hard “work” I put into those things as valuable? Of course. Because I don’t get paid to run. I don’t get paid to do improv. I do those things for myself.

Even if you spend 80 hours a week at the office, or you work 100 hours a week at 3 jobs, or you are lucky and you have a very strict 9-5, 40 hour a week gig, it’s important to take a step back from the daily grind and remember who you work for FIRST.

Who’s your number one boss? You. YOU are you’re number one boss. You know when you’re procrastinating, working diligently, improving, accomplishing, goal setting, yada yada yada. You know YOU better than anyone… which that should go without saying.

I know I need a reminder every once in a while. So, I thought, maybe if I wrote it down and reminded myself, in turn, I’d help to remind other people. You work for yourself first, because if you’re your own number one employee, it will show in everything else you do.

I work really hard. Always have.

That medal was my running paycheck. I earned it.

But particularly, I’ve worked really hard for six months on a “side-project”, and this past Sunday was my mid-year evaluation. I ran my first ever half-marathon. 13.1 miles. The Long Branch, New Jersey half-marathon. And the only one boss that could judge my performance? Me.

It was, by far, the most difficult thing I have ever done. Not only was it 13.1 miles, but it was 93 degrees, no shade, no breeze (for at least 10.5 of the 13.1 miles), high pollen count, etc. etc… By mile 2 I wanted to quit – and I knew I had a long way to go.

My goal was a finishing time of 2 hours and 30 minutes. I ended up finishing in 2 hours and 56 minutes. Was I disappointed?Sure. But was I proud of myself? Absolutely. For the last six months I have trained and prepared 100% on my own. No one else made me get up in the morning and run 5 miles, no one else told me I had to run after working at 15 hour day… I told myself. I did the work.

My friend Colette and my friend Greg were my mentors – talking me through the bad runs, the good runs, and the prep. But in the end, my legs did the running.

And yeah, I’ll admit it, mile 9 of 13.1, I cried. Straight up. No lies. I didn’t know if I could finish or not. As I watched people passing out beside me, and people throwing up from heat exhaustion, I had to have the conversation with myself, did I want to pass out or did I want to finish? I chose the later.

In running, in comedy, in life, I am my own boss. If I am proud of the work I do, the people I literally work for will feel the same way.

Who do YOU work for?

Word.

I haven’t blogged in a week. Blah blah blah, yada yada yada. I went from blogging every day to I haven’t blogged in a week. [Note: I really hate posts when people say, "Ahh I'm so sorry I've been slacking!" or "My apologies for not blogging much" or "I suck and I am lazy and I haven't posted in forever." This is not one of those posts. This is a post of facts. Or truths. Or factruths.

I want to join the RE-UP crew.

But guess what?

Unless you’re a blogger with a gazillion readers, or Oprah, I bet you that people don’t give a rats rear if you haven’t blogged in a week.

But I haven’t blogged in a week and I feel guilty.

I’m not making excuses, but honestly the reason I have slacked off is because I have bigger fish to fry. I love writing, I love blogging, and I have so many thoughts running through my head that if I DON’T write them down, I tend to go a little stir crazy. Fact.

Those of you who have either read my blog, know me personally, or whatever, you know that I’ve been unemployed for nearing six full months. I left an awesome full-time teaching job in Richmond, Virginia and I moved to North Carolina to pursue my love of comedy, writing, and life “en general.”

I’m broke. Fact.

My rent is high, I have a “second rent” paying off a gazillion dollars in debt (only two more years to go!), and I have a Chipotle addiction to feed. Triple facts.

I work 17 hours a week at an art gallery/retail store and maybe 10 hours a week (if I can get the hours) at the mall. I just got a third job waiting tables, something I swore I would never ever ever ever ever do again. Last week I worked every day from at least 9 in the morning until midnight at more than one job. (So? I need the money). Needless to say, when I got home, blogging was not on my mind.

In the past six months, I have applied for over 93 jobs, had a total of 7 interviews, and have yet to find “a JOB… job.” Although working three full-time, part-time jobs isn’t always awesome, it isn’t life-ending. The people are great, my bosses are awesome, and the money is feeding me. Facts.

Again, I am not complaining, these are simply FACTS. I also want to be clear, I am not telling you this to feel sorry for me. I am telling you this to share my experience and I want you to share yours. Hopefully, maybe ONE of you can learn something from me, because Lord knows I’ve learned an immense amount from you.

People keep asking me, “Molly what do you want to do? What is your IDEAL job?” And to be honest, sometimes I feel like that is a bullsh*t question. No offense to anyone that has asked me that, because this is not a personal statement, it’s simply an observation.

Everyone WANTS to do what makes them happy. An ideal job for ANYONE is a job where they can do what they want and make the big bucks.

Right?

My ideal job? What do I WANT to do? Well, I WANT to be a professional comedian. I want people to pay to see me perform and I want people to pay me to make them laugh. But that’s hard to do. I also want friends, and a family, and a life. I don’t really want “things.” Who doesn’t?

What is my ideal JOB job? What do I REALISTICALLY want to do? I want a job that pays me money where I can write, and be visionary, and be a thought leader, and be challenged, and learn, and be creative, all the while, making people laugh. I want room for growth. Personal growth. Professional growth. THAT is my ideal job. Facts.

So, do you want to hire me?

But here’s my deal and here’s why I’ve been rambling on for the past 550+ words…

I am going to be awesome in 2010. It’s not that I’m making New Years Resolutions. I’m not setting goals. I’m changing my life. I’m not complaining. I’m taking the cards that I’m dealt and I’m playing the better hand. Or some cliche phrase like that.

Facts for 2010:

• I do and will continue to work my ass off.
• If I have to wait tables forever to pay my rent, I will. And I will wait tables with a SMILE and PASSION and, damnit, I will make my customers laugh.
• I will love my friends and I will love my family.
• I will eat Chipotle when my stomach wants it.
• I will write because I love to write, not because I feel like I “have to.” As soon as writing becomes work, it is no longer fun.
• I will perform.
• I will change my plans if they need to be changed.
• I will adjust my thinking if it needs adjusting.
• I will work harder if I need to work harder.
• I will make connections.
• I will make a difference.
• I will make an impression.
• I will make an impact.
• I will be awesome.

So, what are YOU doing in 2010?

Word.

As most of you know by now (and some of you don’t know) I am NOW living in Carrboro, NC – aka: the yolk inside the egg of Chapel Hill. I am no longer teaching high school and I moved out of Richmond to focus on my passions: comedy, writing, and new media. [If you are interested in some of the comedy work I'm doing, check out my comedy blog: http://www.mollyhastwothumbs.com.]

For the purposes of this blog, I’m going to strictly be talking about my writing and new media work.

Now that I am in Carrboro and I am getting a fresh start, I have refocused myself and I have set new goals. After a little over 3 months of applying for job after job, after job, after JOB, and hearing nothing I finally realized that I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and really work to expand my own business.

At such an early stage, it can be intimidating stepping out into the business world. I’ve been a freelancer for a little over two years, but only getting clients here and there to supplement extra income. The thought, even the PROSPECT, of working for MYSELF full-time has been such an intimidating idea that I’ve honestly been to afraid to really breach that realm and start the process of getting work. Honestly, I procrastinated. My innate fear of failure kept me putting it off. How many of you have been in that same place at some point? That place of knowing that you have the ability, the resources, and the know-how to get the job done or be successful, but because of a particular arena being so uncertain, you found yourself putting it off in fear of not meeting your goal? Well, that WAS me.

A few weeks ago, someone very close to me said something that was so simple, but completely changed my way of thinking, “I know you can do it.”

It sounds silly, but I had never had anyone express direct confidence in me that I could achieve not only personal goals, but also business goals. He gave me some great marketing, networking, and small-business books and resources — and I started reading.

I’ve now set myself up with a daily work schedule and routine. I’m contacting prospective clients. I’m following up. I’m networking. And ultimately, I’m learning. I’m learning every day about changes in my fields of expertise. I’m learning about business. I’m learning about organization. I’m learning about LIFE. I’m creating a vision and looking towards it with focus and a positive attitude.

Starting your own business can be tough. Transitioning from a part-time business owner to a full-time business owner is a daunting task, but with the right resources and enough support, it doesn’t seem so difficult.

I’m keeping myself motivated through milestones, checkpoints, and definitely rewards (Chipotle burrito, anyone?).

I’m confident that I can provide my clients with the services they need and a quality product. I am a hard worker and extremely driven. I know that this is the kind of arena that I can be successful in.

If you are “the master of your own business domain,” as I like to say, I would love to hear about your experiences. So, share them!

This quote popped up this morning in my e-mail and I found it’s timing to be nothing less than perfect:

“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke

Make it an AWESOME day.

All for now.